


hold onto me tight and never let go

by heolaman



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: College!AU, F/M, Fem!Kyungsoo, Genderbend, KaiSoo - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 09:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16447379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heolaman/pseuds/heolaman
Summary: Kyungsoo and Jongin are madly and hopelessly infatuated with each other. Jongin’s already willing to take a step but Kyungsoo got problems on doing the same thing.





	hold onto me tight and never let go

**Author's Note:**

> no one is forcing you to read it so if you are allergic to fem!exo then this filth is not for you. :) unbeta-ed so expect a lot of grammar errors i apologize :(

 

 

 

 

 

****

Call it being a chicken but Do Kyungsoo will never invite Kim Jongin to her birthday party – two weeks prior in time . The Kim Jongin which is sort of like the real life version of Ryoma Echizen who happens to be in the same club and same group she’s in and her not-so-crush-but-crush for  months now. How can she do that if they aren’t really conversing like she does with the others (because of being shy and all ugh.)  and if they talk, it would just about the tennis club practice and some sort of random stuffs about homework? Nope. Not a chance. Very impossible – even if she really wanted to see that shit there. Kyungsoo is not ready to humiliate herself in front of the only guy who made her stomach in stress. Nope. She can just stare at him and admire him secretly.

 

Kyungsoo exhales deeply, not having the appetite to eat her lunch which is so unusual to her friends Baekhyun and Luhan. They are in different class but they are friends with some reasons they don’t remember. The two whose across Kyungsoo looked at each other and felt that something’s off.

 

“Kim Jongin’s so dreamy.” Baekhyun mumbled and Kyungsoo unconsciously nodded.

 

“Yeah, he is so –“ Kyungsoo looked stunned at her friends, realizing that she’s about to let her friends witness a not so Kyungsoo act of admitting Jongin’s really dashing. Shoo and Hana is grinning maliciously already and poor Kyungsoo knows they were being such little devils again about knowing her secret admiration towards her boy classmate who was ten tables away from them, eating his pasta with some guys who obviously overdosed themselves with height vitamins. “- dark. Kim Jongin is so dark.”

 

“Weeks ago he was sexily sun-kissed for you – not he’s dark. Seriously?” Baekhyun tsked her, having a mouthful of her oversized burger. Kyungsoo can’t understand how Baekhyun can eat greasy and unhealthy stuffs like that and not even add a pound in her weight. She’s a total food freak. They all are but Baekhyun’s not fat. She’s skinny and her auburn hair makes her stand out the best when the three of them is together. Unlike her who is really small and she doesn’t have a killer legs and her face is chubby and her curves are far to compare to her other friends. Totally unattractive. “I already thought you’re done denying him.”

 

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I’m not denying him. He’s really really dark. He hangs out too much with Chanyeol and Sehun whose white as milk. He should be friends with people who don’t make his skin stand out.”

“Isn’t he friends with every one?” Luhan butts in. “He’s Mr. Congeniality.”

“I could bet the entire world that he’s nothing but evil.”

Kyungsoo looked at Baekhyun and straightened her back. “What do you mean?”

 

“Just look at that.” The auburn haired girl points with her mouth and the two girls followed. Jongin was glaring at Chanyeol and he has hit Sehun at the back of his neck. He’s rumbling about something and he groans _cutely_. Kyungsoo was about to get lost again when Luhan reached for her chin and closed her gaping mouth for her.

 

“Man, don’t drool. That’s yuck.” She kids and Kyungsoo just scrunched her nose up. Not cutely but it’s fine. It’s a trait she has ever since. “Have you invited him already?”

“No – why would I?”

“Because he’s your crush.” Baekhyun answered, swaying her burger in front of her. “And we all know you want him to come anyways.”

“Who told you I want him to come?” Kyungsoo retorts back, not looking at her friends and started cutting her steak.

 

“Your face when you stare at him practically says you want to ask him so bad –“ Luhan smiled at her. She have always been the nicer version of a pushy friend but still Kyungsoo shook her head.

 

“Look, we’re not even considered as friends. We’re just teammates in the tennis club and we share the same group of friends but we’re not actually friends so isn’t that a bit embarrassing to ask him to come to my party?” she pointed out, not stopping even a second to breathe. The only words Baekhyun and Luhan heard was  _friends, tennis, friends and party._  “What if he’ll think I’m just inviting him because I want him to bring a gift for me? What if he thinks that I like him –“

“Well, you like him anyways.” Luhan cuts and Kyungsoo almost fall.

“Well, I don’t even want him to know that. He’s Kim. Jong. In _and I’m just –“_

_“Do Kyungsoo -_ A beetle in the society” Baekhyun exasperatedly sigh because Kyungsoo have always been so negative with herself. She doesn’t know if it’s a distinct characteristics of art majors because she have known a lot dealing with their self issues. The doe-eyed lady nods at her, approving. “it’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard from you today.”

“You didn’t hear me complimenting Joonmyeon’s portrait of his grandma in our Art class earlier for the sake of making him feel appreciated. You know how he overreacts everything when we don’t pay attention to him. That’s the lamest thing I said for today.”

Luhan finishes her food and sets aside her plate. “Look, Kyungie. You can’t escape this issue with making fun of Joonmyeon. What’s stopping you from asking him?”

“We’re not friends and I’m shy around him – as in super shy I don’t know where armpit I’m going to hide when he’s looking at me! His big eyes intimidates me but his eyes are like the nicest asset he has –“ Baekhyun reached for Kyungsoo’s shoulders, hoping to calm her down. She’s beginning to speak faster than the usual and Kyungsoo is really good in doing that when she’s angry or nervous. Apparently, their friend is a bit shy unlike them who can easily converse with other people but wasn’t really friendly at all. They are psychology majors so it’s innate for them to be able to talk and sort out things to people – friend or not. Kyungsoo’s majoring in fine arts and all know how some of those majors are introverted. “Ask him. No questioning or denying anymore. Don’t make us frustrated again like last week.”

“You don’t want to see Baekkie’s nasty tantrums again right?” Kyungsoo remembers ranting her frustrations out on facebook that made a huge commotion and worry for her friends – not so Baekhyun. She doesn’t really use her facebook.

“Don’t make me remember Luhan.”

 

Kyungsoo has her face on her hands, internally groaning. She can’t even make a sentence conversation with him – how possibly can she ask him out of the blue? How can she casually ask her crush to come to her birthday? It’s easy for her bestfriends to tell that because they DON’T HAVE CRUSHES. They don’t even find the most good looking guy – Kim Seokjin – attractive. While she’s having a mental headache because of it, Baekhyun poke Luhan on her sides and pointed at where Kyungsoo’s love interest is. They finished eating already and Jongin is heading to pass their table. Alarmed, Luhan kicked Kyungsoo under the table (hard enough but it was unintentional) and the moment she whisper-shouted  _ouch,_ Kim Jongin _was just at her back,_ making the said male stop on his tracks. Jongin and Chanyeol stopped too.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks. His voice making Kyungsoo’s heart stopped from beating. “Kyungsoo, you okay?”

_Casual. Stay casual._ “Yes.” her voice croaks and Baekhyun wants to facepalm herself. Bang her head to each flagpoles outside their university quadrangle. Chanyeol and Sehun looked smart enough to notice that Kyungsoo’s tensing up – blushing madly.“It wasn’t you.”

“Really? Then that’s good.” He says and damn, he’s very handsome with his plump lips smiling at her. “Don’t injure yourself. Practice at four. Coach says we’ll do doubles.”

“Oh” was the only thing she said. Jongin nods at her.

“We’re partners, by the way.”

“What?” she spats with disbelief. “You’re an ACE player. I’m not a good match to you – you’ll be burdened!”

Jongin shook his head. “Then that sounded a lot more fun to me. Try your best to keep up with me – I promise not to put pressure to your shoulders later.”

Kyungsoo tried not to scrunch her nose and the two of her friends got surprised when Jongin turned and smiled at them too. Acknowledging their presence – “I’ll go now. See you in class.”

“Okay.”

 

Kyungsoo definitely heard Chanyeol asked  _who she is_ and she didn’t want to look at his face while he asks that. Probably disgusted.  _“One of the smartest in my class. Name’s Kyungsoo.”_

_She questions if freaking out bad because does he really have to tell her name to them? It was irrelevant!_ But then she heard Chanyeol asking again  _“You think she can help me with Math?”_

_“Don’t bother someone because you aren’t listening to your professor.”_

_“You can easily say that because you’re born smart.”_

 

As soon as the three dissipates somewhere, Baekhyun excitedly patted her arms. “Wow – Jongin’s such a talker! But you only answered all his questions with approximately below twenty words.”

“you really counted?” Kyungsoo gasps and this time, everyone in the canteen shot a look at her. It made her want to sink. Luhan answers for Baekhyun because she’s already devouring her burger like a man.  _“rough estimations. You know how dedicated she is to math.”_

Kyungsoo lets her face fall hard on the table. “I’m screwed. Really screwed. I don’t want to go to practice. I really don’t.”

“Stop being over dramatic. It will be fine!” Luhan cheers. “This might be your chance to ask him to come.” Kyungsoo just groaned her frustration and nervousness out because she’s sure she’ll embarrass herself later in front of Kim Jongin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

Lunch is really dreadful when two of your friends are pressuring you to ask your crush in your own birthday party but it’s a lot more to hide your nervousness when your crush is there, two seats away from you and while your bunch are talking about super stupid and random stuff, killing time before the professor comes in and start another headache lesson of  _english_. While Kei and Sehun are arguing about what to do after class (Kei suggested watching a movie but Sehun proposed going expedition somewhere because he has a car), Jongin seats idly, listening to their friends with a smile on his face. He doesn’t really talk that much. If he does, you’ll have to google what he meant. When he cracks a joke, no one would get it unlike Jongdae. Joonmyeon once told them that Jongin’s jokes need to be studied thoroughly – like you need to do a thesis to understand it.

Kyungsoo thinks it’s the reason why Kyungsoo just kept his mouth shut and laugh with them like her.

“Hey, Jongin –“ Sehun suddenly calls and even with Jongin’s name – Kyungsoo who have this slight shrieking in her seat. She tried hard not to look at Jongin but her eyes betrayed her. It’s a good thing Jongin’s looking into Sehun right in the eye. It gives her a chance to look at him without being caught or smiled at on – “what do you wanna do later?”

“Tennis clubs needs me later.” he answers, lazily turning a page of his textbook on his desk. “Tournaments is just a month away.”

“Woohoo – uni’s Ryoma Echizen is choosing practice over friends!” Jongdae teasingly coos. “you wound us, Jongin.”

“I’m not the only one who’s doing that –  Kyungsoo’s participating too!” Jongin defends and Kyungsoo’s heart stopped – she nervously froze on her spot and Jongdae immediately went to her place.

“Yah!! Why are you coming with Jongin? I thought you’re dating me?”

Kyungsoo scrunched her nose up with disgust. All eyes were on her –  _am I in the right group? Don’t they know I’m a memberof the uni’s tennis club too?_ “Jongdae – didn’t  you say you like Chuckie from the other block.”

Grabbing a chair, Jongdae sat down facing her with his not so admirable duck face – “She doesn’t like me –“

“not my problem!” Not wanting more attention from everyone, Kyungsoo cradled her bag pack and search for some book she can read to escape Jongdae. “Stop telling everyone that we’re dating. They might believe you.”

“We dated at the library –“ Jongdae continues and Kyungsoo shot him with a fierce glare. On her peripheral vision, Jongin was staring at their place, smiling. “You taught me Algebra and –“

“That wasn’t a date! You used me to have an excuse to stalk that poor girl you’re crushing with – who  unfortunately dates the student council president Minseok –“

 Roughly standing up, Jongdae frowns. “Fine fine. I won’t tease you anymore.  Why are you always cruel to me –“

“You deserve it Jongdae, you started it.” Kei says between laughs. “I never knew Kyungsoo’s a player of the tennis club.”

“She’s good –“ Jongin praised, smiling at Kyungsoo and  _god, can he be more handsome?_ Because Kyungsoo can’t take it anymore. She’s going to die because of that simple friendly glance. “Seriously. We’ve been together for long how come you guys don’t know.”

“You never told us you’re together!” Sehun reasoned. Kyungsoo thought it sounded so wrong but who is she to deny that deep inside her, it sounded so good.

 Jongin immediately retorted back. “ _You guys never asked.”_

“You’re keeping Kyungie, aren’t you Jongin?”

“What am I now? A friend thief? Come on guys – you never asked her after school activities because you’re busy fighting what stuff to do after school. Why are you pointing fingers at me?” Jongin sighs -  but he is smiling. “But maybe yes. I’m keeping Kyungsoo away from you. You guys are such bad influence to her.”

 

The attention now was on Jongin – everyone is teaming up to corner him because of what he have said. Kyungsoo stayed on her seat, processing his smile and his  _yes. maybe I’m keeping her._ She knows Jongin’s just playing around but she came to a point that everything Jongin said and acted were deeply carved in her memory. Kyungsoo would like to keep it. Even though it doesn’t meant anything.

Her friends stopped their assault on Jongin when the grammar devil aka their English professor arrived out of the blue, roughly opening the sliding door with his scowling face. “Prepare for a quiz in five minutes.”

Series of groans scattered through their class. Well, the quiz is a good distraction to fuss about on. That’s a reason for her to forget Jongin and the things that made her fall for the trap they call  _falling in love._

 

**_Baek_ **

_Luhan and I can drop by later at the gym – we can go home all together. Or you have Jongin to drop you home? –u– tell me earlier so we wont ruin a nice moment._

 

**_Me_ **

_Don’t expect too much on me – it’s practice. It’s not like we’re goin’ to talk about stuffs. Well we don’t even talk about stuffs. Drop by. I don’t wanna go home all by myself._

 

**_Baek_ **

_Did you asked him already?_

 

**_Me_ **

_No. Not yet. And will not._

 

**_Baek_ **

_Then go home all by yourself._

 

**_Me_ **

_Come on Baek! Don’t let this whole asking Jongin fiasco be the basis of our friendship here._

 

**_Me_ **

_You know me – I wont ask him. I’ll try asking him after telling it to Kei and the others._

**_Me_ **

_Baek! Don’t make me beg to be noticed._

**_Me_ **

_BAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEKKKKKK_

 

**_Baek_ **

_Don’t shout at me._

 

**_Me_ **

_You’ll drop by right? Best friends forever._

 

**_Baek_ **

_Fine fine. Practice well_

 

 

Sighing, Kyungsoo turned off her phone and drops it inside her bag. Everyone in her class is slowly leaving after the professor called it off – it was like the biggest bomb everyone is waiting to be dropped.  Kei and the others bid their byes to her and assured her that they’ll get something for her to wherever they’re heading. It’s Sehun’s time to boss around because it’s his car they’re going to use. Jongin was nowhere to be seen and probably he head out to the gym already to warm up. It’s a combination of good and bad. Good because she can calm down and bad because Kyungsoo thinks she misses him a lot.

While she drowns in her own thoughts of Jongin – the said boy arrives, seeing Kyungsoo looking so exhausted as she slowly arranged her stuffs in her bag. Quietly getting in, Jongin paced towards her and checked if she’s okay. “Hey.”

Kyungsoo gazed at him with wide eyes like she’s copying his normal state. Jongin snickered a laugh. He was unsure if he’ll scoot close because he’s afraid Belle would think he’s invading her personal space so Jongin just went to his seat. Pretending to search for something. “You okay?”

“I’m – fine.”

“You can go home if you aren’t feeling well.” Jongin suggests and he doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want her around. He just doesn’t want Kyungsoo to pressure herself. “Unless you don’t have the heart to want me to practice alone. Having a two versus one game.”

“Are you seriously trying to guilt me?”

Jongin grins and crossed his arms. “Is it effective?”

Kyungsoo stayed quiet, rolling her eyes at Jongin as she continued arranging her stuffs. How can he grin so cute? How can he be so intimidating? Kyungsoo hates it when Jongin’s there but she hates it too when he’s not.  She wasn’t paying attention so she didn’t notice Jongin scooting close. “You’re too slow – what are you even arranging?”

Kyungsoo felt it suffocating because Jongin’s shoulder is touching hers – too close. And he’s looking at her stuffs. With her anti-Jongin reflexes, Kyungsoo immediately pushed Jongin away – un lady like and well, rude. “Jongin get off –“

“Why do you have lots of leaflets in your bag?” He asks. Curious thick brows raised. “Is that your part time job or what –“

“Why are you asking too much?” Kyungsoo retorts, closing her bag immediately and slinging it on her back. He remembered receiving tons of leaflets when she hanged out with her best friends one time at the mall. Those people handling leaflets is doing their work so Kyungsoo wanted to help them by simply taking it.

“This is why Jongdae annoys you –“ Jongin laughs.

“What now –“

_You’re incredibly cute._ Jongin wants to say it but it’s too early to admit that. “I never really had the chance to talk to you like this. You seemed so distant.”

Her face softens. “I’m not distant. I just don’t like talking… maybe.”

Kyungsoo started walking out of their room and Jongin followed. Keeping his distance. Students are scattered along the corridor saying endless goodbyes and see you soons and Jongin silently exchanged places with her so that she won’t get bumped by some rowdy freshmen racing with each other and some seniors who walks in the aisle in vertical line as if they owned it. “Did you scored well in the surprise quiz earlier?”

“It was an average score but I can settle with it.” There’s a small smile on her lips and with Jongin’s keen eyes it’s not hard to notice that. “You? Did you do well?”

“It’s just a quiz but I scored half.” Jongin says proudly. He doesn’t know if he should be proud because he’s talking to Kyungsoo finally. Though it’s a not-like-friends talk Jongin can manage to appreciate it.

“Are you being serious, Jongin?” Kyungsoo exclaimed with her nose scrunched up. “Our quizzes in his subject practically makes our grades. And didn’t he told us that his passing grade is 75%?”

“You’re forgetting that he’s one of the professors handling the tennis club. I can pass his class, believe me. I’ll just participate in the tournaments and win it – with you.”

“Oh no.” Kyungsoo puts her hands in front of her chest and hastily shook her head. “I won’t enter the tournament with you okay – you’re probably getting me wrong but I don’t want to ruin your reputation as an ACE player. I’m just Kyungsoo –“

Jongin isn’t listening to Kyungsoo’s rumbling – not when she’s so cute trying to explain herself. “You’re Kyungsoo – my partner. End of discussion. This is so pointless.”

“What’s pointless? Don’t I have a say to this? Why did they decided to team me up to someone so skilled like you –“ Kyungsoo didn’t stopped her sentiments that she didn’t noticed they reached the university’s gym already. If it wasn’t Jongin, she would have made a commotion of colliding her face on the closed metal doors. He opened the doors and gave a smirk at her.

“As of the moment, you don’t have the right, Kyungsoo. I’m giving you five minutes to change – meet me at the tennis court.”

 

Kyungsoo cant process what’s happening. She cant really process anything at all. And when did Jongin became so sexy with the smirk.

_“Do Kyungsoo!  Five minutes!”_ Jongin shouts again and Kyungsoo immediately ran inside the locker rooms to change.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

Jongin scans a huffing and sweating Do Kyungsoo in her jogging pants and gray shirt she used last year in competing for the school. Her long hair was tied in a messy bun, making her face more prominent unlike when she keeps it hanging down. Jongin likes the color of pink spreading on her cheeks and there’s a wrist band on her left hand. She’s a lefty – which is an advantage for them. He’s right handed so he can guard the right part of their court and she can take care of the left side. The afternoon sun shining on them makes Kyungsoo glow and it makes it obvious that he’s really darker than any other normal Koreans there.

 

Nothing can go wrong.  _Or so he thinks._

“This isn’t really appealing to me.” Kyungsoo pouts as she catches her breath. “It took so much energy changing for five minutes!”

Jongin snorts playfully. “You’ve managed.” And that earns him a glare from the lady who’s trying to composed herself. “I asked Minah and Taemin to have a set with us. Awesome, right?”

“You’re so cruel.” Kyungsoo groans. Minah and Taemin are monsters – how can they possibly catch up with their skill? They’re trained doing duos while she and Jongin have been playing independently. “You’re so impossible Jongin!”

“What? Can’t I dream of beating those two?” he swings his racquet and let it rest on his neck.

“We wont win against them!” Kyungsoo whispered-shouted as she saw Minah on her matching pink shirt and skirt approaching them with her pink tennis racquet. Her wavy black hair is swinging from left to right as she bounces her way towards Jongin.  _Such a girly opponent._ Jongin’s just smiling at her, waving his hands. Kyungsoo’s annoyed because he’s taking everything she says lightly.

_“Hey Jongin! It’s nice you mailed me last night about this game.”_ Minah says, eyes squinting as she smiles sweetly at him. Kyungsoo turned her gaze because she’s easy to read. She feels really bitter because Minah and Jongin are friends and there’s no way Jongin doesn’t have a crush on her. She’s very pretty. And wasn’t awkward around him. She can cling onto Jongin’s arms without any problem. She’s basically Kyungsoo’s biggest insecurity.

“It’s nice you agreed. Where’s Taemin?”

Minah looked around as well as Kyungsoo – said boy with blonde hair and blue eyes (contacts. Taemin really wanted to be a westerner so he’s like that) is being as lazy as possible, taking him forever to walk to their place. “What’s wrong with him?” Jongin asks, secretly eyeing Kyungsoo who’s looking at Taemin and wanting to pry Minah off him. The attention Minah’s giving him is too much – skinship is too much for a guy like him who already have someone he fancies.

“Can I team up with Kyungsoo, here?” Taemin asks, flirting Kyungsoo with a smile, swinging his racket like his already hitting a tennis ball. “I’m so tired with Minah. Let me try a new partner.”

“We can do that.” Minah excitedly exclaimed, jumping up and down with excitement. She looks at Jongin with puppy eyes and the tan boy felt like sweating. He wanted to look at Kyungsoo – at least witness his partner disapproving. But then Jongin heard Kyungsoo speaking.

“I don’t mind teaming up with Taemin.”

“I do mind.” Jongin says immediately. He doesn’t want to sound so serious but how could Kyungsoo agree? Doesn’t she really like him? What’s wrong with him? “Kyungsoo – we’re partners from now on and the purpose of this game set with them is for us to developed  _teamwork_.” Jongin was annoyed and he wanted Kyungsoo to feel sorry for saying such decision like that. She’s indirectly abandoning him. “I want to team with Minah but we need this.” Kyungsoo nods and Jongin would like to thank Taemin for cutting the building tension. He suggested for them to start it already because it’s taking his time.

The two teams separated – Minah and Taemin walked over their court, getting on their chosen positions. Taemin’s standing near the net and Minah’s a little farther. She’s bouncing the tennis ball on the ground, waiting for them to get ready. Jongin wanted to ask Kyungsoo to stand on the left but she isn’t looking at him. It’s making Jongin alarmed but he needs to get his head on the game. Instead of asking Kyungsoo, he stood on the left side, not that far away from Kyungsoo. The both of them nodded at Minah and so the pretty girl on the opposite court tossed the ball into the air and hit it with a strong  overhead pass. Kyungsoo got it since and gave it back with the opposing team with equal strength.

The first exchange of hits is good. Minah and Taemin found it hard to not keep up the powerful hits because Jongin and Kyungsoo and playing them squarely. But then Taemin manages to volley the ball between the two players of the other team, there started the downfall of their opponent.

Taemin noticed Jongin and Kyungsoo isn’t communicating in the eye – it’s essential for a duo to do that. Good communication can result to a good teamwork. When he repeated aiming the ball to at the center, Jongin and Kyungsoo accidentally hit each other’s racquet instead of the tennis ball. The blonde boy smiled triumphantly because he has found a weakness and it earned them a point. It happened again and again and it gave them a lots of points.

“You guys won’t win against us if you continue hitting on each other’s racquet!” Minah kids and even though Jongin wasn’t in the mood, he managed to laugh. It was the first time he played doubles. It wasn’t his specialization and it’s the same for Kyungsoo but he grabbed the opportunity when their head coach – Ms. Hwang announced that she’s going to shuffle the line ups. Kyungsoo got included to do doubles and the position to be her partner is free. Jongin, who is shy to colunteer himself because he doesn’t want people to speculate things about him gave his coach a hint that he wanted to try doubles. He’s really thankful Ms. Hwang is so nice.

“ _Wanna try the doubles this year with Kyungsoo?”_ Ms. Hwang asks and Jongin tried to hide his smile.

_“It’s not bad to give it a try – I guess.”_

_“Good. You tell the news to our pretty Kyungsoo tomorrow, okay?”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It didn’t worked. At the end of the game, Minah and Taemin won – Kyungsoo got her face hit with the ball because Jongin called onto her while the ball Taemin smashed is aimed at her. They’ve committed a lot of violations though the game doesn’t have score cards. Jongin rushed to Kyungsoo and carefully checked his partners face, holding Kyungsoo’s face and tilting it to side to side. Her personal space is gone and Jongin standing so close to her, holding her is so intimate. Her heart is going to stop functioning because of Jongin. “Let’s get you to infirmary.”

“It’s fine – it’s not really hurting – ouch!” Kyungsoo cried as Jongin pressed his thumb on Kyungsoo’s right cheekbone. “Ouch – Jongin that hurts.”

“See.” Jongin breathes and there’s really concern on his face right now. It’s disarming Kyungsoo already. It’s her fault anyways that they lost and why she ended up getting injured. If she didn’t let her insecurities eat her up, then maybe they’ve performed well during the game.

If maybe, Jongin didn’t have said that he wanted to team up with Minah too, then maybe Kyungsoo can have a little faith in herself. That he can match Jongin too even in the game. Even as a partner.

She didn’t notice Jongin’s hand went down to hold her in the wrist. “Minah – Taemin! Thank you for the time!” Jongin shouts. “Taemin you’ve hit so hard it injured Kyungsoo! I’ll just bring her to the infirmary!”

“You can ask us anytime again, Jongin-ah!” Minah shouted back, waving her hands in the air animatedly. Jongin nods at them and pulled Kyungsoo away who’s sending them apologetic look and bows. Minah scooted close at Taemin and poked him in the sides.

“Hey, Taemin. Jongin looks so worried at Kyungsoo. Definitely a first.”

“I could bet that Jongin likes her.”

“I could bet it too.”

Taemin looked at Minah and gave a smirk. “Go and have your date with my hyung now, Minah. I have something to do.” Minah rolled her eyes because she already knows Taemin’s going to tease Jongin with the revelation they knew just now.

“Do you want me to make up excuses to your hyung again? I won’t do it.”

Taemin gave his racquet to Minah and smiled sheepishly. “I can bet that you will. You’ll do everything for your boyfriend’s little brother.” And then he runs off, leaving Minah loss for words.

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

“Jongin, I really have stuff to do so can you aid Ms. Do here by yourself?” Ms. Ahn, the school nurse asks, handling Jongin a pack of ice and an ointment. “Ms. Do is perfectly fine. We should just prevent it from bruising her milky skin. It’s a waste to have a bruise on a beautiful skin like that.” She adds. Jongin nods and looked at Kyungsoo whose lying on the clinic bed, trying to process the fact that they almost walked hand in hand together. Across the sea of people. She wanted to get it of her mind but how can she? It’s a scene never in her whole life had imagined to happen in reality. She got back to her senses when Jongin placed the ice pack on her cheek, smiling at her.

“Better?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo managed to get the ice pack from his hold.

“A little.” The tan boy nods at her and started answering the school clinic records for her. “Uhm, Jongin…”

“Your birthday? It’s need here.” Kyungsoo sat up and looked at what Jongin’s answering.

“10th of January, 1993. Jongin… Uhmm..”

“Blood type?”

“B – Jongin I really need to tell you something…” Kyungsoo reaches for Jongin’s pen, preventing him to stop for awhile but the moment Jongin looked at her – Kyungsoo swear she forgot how to breathe. Jongin waited for a minute but Kyungsoo just stared at him. And she’s like undressing him already with her big and cute and attractive doe eyes

“Kyungsoo?” Jongin calls and it snap Kyungsoo from dazing off. “Look – I’m sorry. For whatever I did earlier to make you mad at me…”

“Wh-what?” Kyungsoo can’t really process anything.  _Kim Jongin is apologizing to her._ Kyungsoo immediately shook her head.

“No – no… it was my fault. I told you I’ll only be a burden to you. I’m really too insecure because I know I’m not the right partner for you. So I didn’t talk to you during the game. I know it’s a bad attitude and I’m really sorry about it. I’ll ask Ms. Hwang to reconsider me in the doubles –“

“Don’t dare, Kyungsoo.” Jongin stared at Kyungsoo seriously and she realized how she used to hate the color brown. Baekhyun used to tell her it’s a color of poop so she doesn’t like it. But she grew to like it because it’s the color of Jongin’s eyes. His eyes are so sincere and she has really liked it when he’s on the court, playing with determined eyes. He likes it when it will squint when his chuckling a loud laugh. “We just didn’t hit off well earlier. I think I am in account of your mood earlier.”

“You wanted to team with Minah, right?”

“Nope.” Jongin admits. “Minah’s out my league. Only Taemin can keep up to her.” Then after few minutes, Jongin realizes that  _that_ is the reason why Kyungsoo got a little down. He wasn’t thinking. He didn’t know Kyungsoo’s a little sensitive. He’s learning how Kyungsoo is.

“I’m sorry.” Jongin mumbles. “Let’s just try once more. I’m not really careful earlier that I made you feel like I don’t want to team up with you – I’ll try to me more considerate. Next time, no more hard feelings during games?” he offers his hand and Kyungsoo held onto it.

“Same here… I’m sorry for acting that way.” She smiled shyly.  _He’s so kind.._. Jongin stood up and ruffled her hair messily. “I’ll get our stuffs. Be sure to apply the ointment, okay? Ms. Ahn told me it’ll prevent your skin for bruising.”

Jongin started sprinting out but Kyungsoo alarmedly called his attention “But the practice – “

“Let’s just call it a day – after all we’re both injured.” Jongin smiled at her playfully.

“How come you’re injured?”

Jongin playfully raises his brows. “Excuse me, Ms. Do, are you trying to say that I’m making excuses?”

“It looks like it.”

Jongin groans childishly. “Stop keeping me here.” He says. “I’ll be back.”

Kyungsoo just smiled it off as she watches Jongin going out the infirmary. She wants Jongin to stay and chat with her – although she thinks she’s saying too much about herself.

She lay down again and smiled at the thought of their little talk. She can’t wait to be completely friends with him one day…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongin was bouncing on the hallway because he’s getting to know Kyungsoo like the way he wanted when he sees Taemin waiting for him at the wash area with his back resting on the wall. “Hey, Taemin.”

“Hey Mr. Loverboy. How’s your doe eyed princess?” There’s teasing in Taemin’s voice and Jongin tried to pretend he’s not floating in cloud nine.

“Loverboy? Who? Me?”

“You like Do Kyungsoo, don’t you?”

“No I don’t. She’s a friend.” Jongin denies but the sly smile on Taemin’s face just widens. He tried to catch up with his best friend and thought of a brilliant way to make him admit it.

“Really? Okay then if she’s a friend of yours, maybe you can set us together? She’s a cute chick” Taemin walked passed Jongin who instantly stopped on his tracks with his statement. “I mean … I’m starting to think nerdy girls are cute. She might be the salvation I’ve been waiting for –“ He turns around, amused to see Jongin with his balled fists. “What?”

“I – “

“You cant?”

Jongin nods. “I can’t.”

“Why? I thought you don’t like her?”

“I can’t Taemin –“ Jongin uttered, shaking his head.

“I’m your best friend – why won’t you help me?”

“I take that back. I like her. I like her very much. So I can’t set you up”

_Yes._ Jongin thinks. He likes Do Kyungsoo because she’s a real beauty. She’s very cunning and she smiles like sunshine. He likes Do Kyungsoo ever since they started hanging out in the same group – although Kyungsoo’s a little bit distant to him and she’s closer to Sehun and Joonmyeon, it didn’t stopped Jongin from admiring her. He liked the way her articulate mouth works in silencing Jongdae’s shenanigans. He likes it how she can tell Sehun to act his age when he’s being a brat and Sehun would shut up and gather his acts. He likes it when her cheeks bounces on her face when she runs. He liked her serious face when she’s studying before exam and the way she would mess her hair when she feels pressured. Jongin likes her when she smiles with her heart shaped lips – Jongdae would always tell how he wanted to try kissing Kyungsoo because she looked so nice – especially her lips – full and soft and bitable – Kyungsoo wasn’t nice – nice things doesn’t make you feel something and so Jongin thought Kyungsoo isn’t nice. She’s an art. An abstract art. Abstract art heeds impression from the looker but what makes the art special is that the artist is the only person who can truly decipher what the art means. He wanted to be the only one who can deeply understand Kyungsoo. It was a wishful thinking but hey, Jongin believes that a man can wish.

Taemin flicked Jongin’s forehead and the poor guy cried because Taemin’s so good in forehead flicking (besides Tennis.) “The chick is so short – “

“We have the perfect kissing and cuddling-on-public height – and she’s not a chick.” Jongin gritted his teeth. “Don’t call her like that.”

“Would you prefer me calling her babe?” Taemin teases as they reached the gym again. Jongin firmly pressed his lips into a thin line and that was an indication that he’s getting annoyed. They passed by a lots of players having their warms ups and some girls from the women’s volleyball team said hi to Jongin. Too bad, Taemin is starting to annoy Jongin that’s why he’s not in the mood for smiling back. They reached the locker rooms. Jongin easily spots Kyungsoo’s yellow back pack and Taemin just follows him from behind. “Is Kyungsoo really your type?”

“No –“ Jongin answers, slinging his bag on his shoulder while he hugged Kyungsoo’s. “Kyungsoo’s   _faaaaaarrrr_ from my ideal type! But I really like her.”

“How long?” Taemin asks again.

“Awhile? I didn’t count. It’s not important how long..”

“Tell her you like her. Waiting without doing something for  _awhile_ isn’t so you –“

“Taemin.” Jongin breathes heavily as they started to walk their way out of the gym.  “Kyungsoo is – really difficult to handle. She’s too guarded. I don’t know if she’s afraid to fall or she just hates guys.”

“I’m hella sure she likes guys.”Jongin stopped walking and gave his best friend a judging look. Taemin pointed on the bag tag hanging on one of the zippers of Kyungsoo’s bag. “Jo In Sung, huh. She sure is weird.”

“Why are you even being too nosy Taemin?”

Taemin just smiled. “Because I think you’re in deep shit. You never waited. I’m just going to remind you that I’m here. I exist. You can always talk to me.”

Jongin pats Taemin’s shoulder. “Thanks, man.”

“I can set you two up if you like, though?” Taemin suggests once again but Jongin just pushed him away.

 

 

 

 

*****

Kyungsoo and Jongin bowed together at the school nurse before leaving completely after getting some nice pampering from Ms. Ahn. There’s still the winter chill when they went out the building and Kyungsoo is furiously typing on her screen. Jongin wanted to go until the bus stop to see if Kyungsoo’s good and safe but he needs to get his bike from the other side of the campus.

“Hey, Kyungsoo.” He calls, poking Kyungsoo in the shoulder by his finger. “Where are you heading at?”

Kyungsoo cutely blinked her eyes, confused. “Bus stop.”

“Oh…” Jongin thinks if he’ll ask Kyungsoo to wait for him or not. As much as possible, he doesn’t want to be awkward with her and he doesn’t have anything to say. “Then we part from here.”

Kyungsoo nods, giving him a bow. It’s cute because Kyungsoo have always been respectful to him – well to everyone. “Thank you, for keeping up with me today.”

 “Don’t sweat on it. Take care on your way home.”

Kyungsoo watched Jongin as he ran away from her. She can’t help but to smile widely again as she remembered how Jongin took care of her. And got embarrassed for herself because she realized she sounded so jealous while telling Jongin what bothered her! She lightly hits her cheeks multiple of times as she start walking to the bus stop too. It’s so embarrassing and Kyungsoo doesn’t know how can she face Jongin next week.

Or maybe ask him for her  _birthday_

Kyungsoo quickly put out her phone quickly typed a message for Baekhyun and Luhan.

 

**_Me_ **

_Help 911. Practice ended early. Should I go home?_

 

**_Me_ **

_I think I messed up again. 0% chance of having Jongin in my party._

 

It wasn’t long when her phone beeped

 

**_Baekhyun_ **

_Go home. We’re stuck in class. Damn this professor. Fdgjgjdghfhfjdihifhsfkjsdhgvgsdbchi group bff meeting tomorrow night – your place!_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

It was an unusual Saturday morning for Kyungsoo as she gets up from bed as she heard pans clanking like it fell on their floor down the kitchen. Yes. It’s weird because there’s no day that she gets company. She sleepily went down and surprised to see her mom making a mess in the kitchen, with her hair tied messily, trying to cook out a dish from a cook book she owns.

Her mother isn’t the housewife type. She works at an advertising firm and she never does things like cooking. She’s very un-motherly but Kyungsoo loves her so.

“Mom. Don’t burn my kitchen!” Kyungsoo announces, making her mom shriek and drop the egg in her hand. Kyungsoo just laughed and went to her side, preventing her from cleaning her mess.

“Sorry, the pans have woken you up, honey.”

Kyungsoo disagrees, smiling at her mother. “Not the pans mom, you woke me up.”

Giggling, her mother removed the apron she’s wearing and gave her to Kyungsoo. She definitely knows the kitchen is Kyungsoo’s property. “I wanted to give you a proper breakfast, though.”

“I don’t want omelet with sprinkles of eggshells for a morning meal.”

“That’s so mean honey.”

Kyungsoo’s mother pouted and it’s a type of pout Kyungsoo likes seeing. She havent seen her mom properly for days. It’s a good morning though she needs to clean their kitchen later because Luhan and Baekhyun are coming over. That’s quite a job but Kyungsoo doesn’t mind. “Arent you late for work?”

“I just want to hang out with you for awhile. One late will not be a harm in my career as the general manager, don’t you think?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widens as she turned to her mother. “You. Got. A. promotion?”

She nods and Kyungsoo immediately run to her mom to give her a congratulatory hug and kiss! “Woah! I cant wait to tell that to Baekhyun and Luhan! They’re coming over! Congrats mom!”

“Thank you sweetie.” Kyungsoo pries herself off and smiled.

“I’m going to cook for you – egg shell-less omelet, yes?”

“I would love that.” The doe eyed girl bounces her way to the kitchen counter and started preparing their breakfast when her mother cleared her throat. “The invitations for your birthday party is done also – I placed it on your desk earlier so you can start distributing it to your friends.”

“Mom… about that… is… uhmm..” Kyungsoo tries to form her sentence but she’s so nervous. She haven’t been bringing up his name for so long already but she really wanted to know. He rmother was quick to answer her with a weak smile.

“I sent your dad an invitation – and went to see his wife. To tell her about it. She said they’ll come.”

Kyungsoo can’t help it but to feel sorry for her mom. It must be hard for her still after all the years after they decided to end their marriage already. But she did it for her because a mother wants her child to be happy so Kyungsoo’s really thankful. “You really went that far for me, mom?”

“you wanted your father to see you, right?” Kyungsoo nods. “Show him that you’re very well – even with a broken family, okay?”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything. She doesn’t have the confidence to show that side of her because she was never well with a broken family. It made her worst.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was just a normal afternoon, Kyungsoo just finished buying all the ingredients she need for her kimchi spaghetti and the unhealthy junks Baekhyun wanted to eat for their sleep over. Her hair is still tied in a bun and she comfortably wears jogging pants and too old shirt big for her. She’s also halfway done distributing her invitations, asking the post to deliver it to her elementary friends. The only invitations in her hands now was the ones for her college friends and for Jongin. She wanted to give them theirs personally and as much as possible not to make any noise that will make her the talk of the town in their class. Too much attention is not good. Sure, her party would be big – but she doesn’t like people to think that she like to boast

She still needs to make a way on how to ask Jongin – without making her look suspicious about her liking towards him.

Her train of thoughts was disturbed when a loud honking suddenly echoed in her ear, making her turned around to see who the hell is behind her. she’s so surprised to see Jongin smiling at her as he removes his hoodie covering his head. It looks like his been biking for awhile because he’s sweaty.

Kyungsoo was loss for words so Jongin tried honking at her again. It helped thought it’s unpleasant in the ears so Kyungsoo – despite of the groceries she has tried covering her ear. “Jongin, please stop.”

“Hi Kyungsoo! What are you up to?” he says, still with the big doofy smile on his face.  _Doesn’t Jongin knows he’s extremely cute when he smiles like that?_ Kyungsoo thought. “Where are you going and why are you so red?”

“I-Isnt it obvious?” Kyungsoo muttered under her breath as she gazes at her groceries. She’s quick to cover her face and Jongin can see that she’s having difficulties in carrying her groceries so Jongin reached for some of her stuffs and placed it on his basket.

“I can walk you till the second street.” Jongin says, as he starts to pedal his bike. Slowly so that Kyungsoo can still catch up with him. “You do live somewhere near here, don’t you?”

Kyungsoo tried to keep up with Jongin and didn’t protested. She’s unprepared to see Jongin but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hang out with him for awhile. “Yeah, I live somewhere from the second street. So, where are you going?”

“Chanyeol’s.” then Jongin exasperatedly sighed. “He’s going to Jiyeon’s birthday tonight.”

_Jiyeon – their classmate who sometimes hang out with their group._ Kyungsoo thinks if Chanyeol is invited then Jongin should be coming too. “Oh – it’s her birthday? I didn’t know!”

“Wait.” Jongin abruptly stops and stared at her with disbelief. “Don’t tell me you aren’t invited?”

“uhhhh. No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t think it needs any reason, Jongin.” Kyungsoo just continued walking. She cant understand why Jongin’s so surprised. He should’ve known that she’s isn’t mingling with almost everyone. Jiyeon is just a classmate and maybe she thought the same way. It doesn’t mean that if she hangs out with her group, they’re considered as friends. Then it hits her. “Aren’t you invited too?”

Jongin just nods at her. Kyungsoo looked at him, confused.

“What?” Jongin asks.

“Arent you going too?”

“Nope. Not coming.” Jongin smiles nonchalantly and Kyungsoo wanted to ask him why. He was invited. She’s about to open her mouth but then Jongin started talking again. “I don’t really like parties. I don’t think my existence will make Jiyeon happier. Though I sent her my wishes.”

“But you’re invited!”

“I just really don’t like parties.” Jongin huffs and Kyungsoo have never felt so down hearing that.

 

 

 

 

******

Luhan and Baekhyun as well as Kyungsoo were gathered at Kyungsoo’s room – on their pajamas already. Some chick flick playing on Kyungsoo’s TV but no one bothered to listen to it because first, it was english. Second – self issues are much more important. Luhan was lying on the bed, reading the invitation for Kyungsoo’s birthday and Baekhyun’s sitting on the floor, eating some salty chips.

“Pool party after? That’s kinda nice, Soo.” Luhan mumbles excitedly. Her blonde her was in a mess for lying down. Baekhyun motioned her to pass the invitation to have a look, too. She’s busy eating as soon as they arrive so she doesn’t have the chance, too.

“Woah. Nice. Semi formal party?”

Kyungsoo nods. “Mom wanted to keep it formal but she wanted my friends to enjoy as well.”

Luhan then lies again on her chest and looked at Kyungsoo. “Is Sehun coming? You’re friends with him, right?”

“I haven’t given them their invitations so I don’t know. Maybe this Monday?”

A flirty “oh” came out from Luhan and Kyungsoo’s definitely sure there’s a blush on her face. She’s about to comment on it but Baekhyun called her attention. “You better gave Jongin, too.”

“About that -“ Kyungsoo started fidgeting her fingers as she plops down beside Luhan, burying her face on the mattress. “I won’t try asking Jongin anymore…”

Luhan and Baekhyun turned their gazes to her worriedly. Kyungsoo’s depressing over it already. “What – why?” Luhan asks. Baekhyun kept her mouth shut.

“I met him awhile ago. After buying the ingredients of out dinner. It’s was just coincidence and we talked about Jiyeon’s party –“

Baekhyun who was previously sitting on the floor moved on the bed too – “that girl invited Chanyeol, too. Ugh. And that stupid noodle head went. Didn’t he know that Jiyoen has hots for him –“

“She has hots for every man. She likes Sehun too!” Luhan pouted and Kyungsoo got herself confused.

“Do you guys like Sehun and Chanyeol.”

“Chanyeol likes me.” Baekhyun quickly answered back. “I’m starting to like him but I think I’m starting to dislike him again.” Kyungsoo looked over Luhan and her friend just bowed her head.

“It’s not really important if I like Sehun or not.” Luhan mumbles. “Anyways. Goin’ back to you, Soo.”

“Oh..” Kyungsoo got a hint and tried to change the topic again. “Jongin and I talked and he told me he doesn’t like attending parties –“

“He did not say that!” Luhan gasped, holding onto Kyungsoo’s hand. “Soo –“

“it’s okay. I wasn’t really expecting him.” Kyungsoo lied, trying to smile. “But my dad will come. So… I’m really okay.”

Luhan tried to comfort Kyungsoo and Baekhyun didn’t liked it. Kyungsoo has been looking forward to this party. She won’t say it that much but her eyes would always shine when they talk about it. She won’t let her best friend not get what she really wants on that day. Baekhyun could be very persistent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

Jongin can’t understand. It’s Wednesday already and he really haven’t talked to Kyungsoo the way they talked last week. It’s like Kyungsoo’s trying to stay away from him. Again. He thought they’re over with the getting awkward part. She’s extremely silent every time their group is gathering around. He would only steal glances at her, hoping they would meet each other’s gazes but it never happened for the past days.

Jongin misses her sweet voice, her flushed face when he’ll smile at her all of a sudden. He misses Kyungsoo and he wanted to talk nonsense with her but there’s something that’s preventing him from doing so. He’s not sure if he’s at fault or it’s Kyungsoo.

Jongin sees Kyungsoo reading alone at her spot – some book he knows too hard to understand for him. It was a perfect timing to corner her because no one in their group of friends is around. He casually walks in, placing his hands on the either side of his pockets, contemplating whether to greet her with a hey or a good morning.

Kyungsoo’s as beautiful as ever – he was about to open his mouth when Jongdae suddenly made his entrance overshadow him.

“Good morning!” he greets, almost shouting. He gave a tap on Jongin’s back as he passed by him and immediately went to Kyungsoo’s side. “Soo!”

“Morning.” Kyungsoo smiled – Jongin almost forgot how he feels when she smiles at him widely. She havent been smiling like that at him for the past two days. Jongin cant help but to feel jealous. “You seemed so excited…”

Jongin went on his place, not looking at Kyungsoo. Jongdae noticed Jongin’s gloominess pulled the tan boy to seat around Kyungsoo’s table so they can have chitchats. “Jiyeon’s party last Saturday is still the talk of the town.” Jongdae starts. “And you, Jongin! She’s searching for you earlier. I had to make an excuse for you.”

“Why is she searching for me anyways?” Jongin whines, resting his head on Kyungsoo’s table. He looks at the content of her book and cant believe Kyungsoo’s reading hamlet – a literary piece he can never understand. He looks at Kyungsoo and noticed that Kyungsoo’s eyeing him like a hawk. More like not really breathing.

“Maybe she’s searching for you because you didn’t show up on her birthday?” Kyungsoo mumbles as she pulled her book leading Jongin’s face to harshly hit her desk. He was about to protest how he was hurt but Kyungsoo was quick to lay her book on his face. “I mean, I think she must be really disappointed you know.”

“I told you.” Jongin sighs, removing the book on his face. “I don’t like parties.”

“I cant seriously believe how impossible you are –“ Jongdae chuckles. “anyways. I’m looking forward to Kyungsoo’s birthday party on her birthday next week! I can feel it.”

Kyungsoo just smiled at Jongdae and Jongin can’t believe that he forgot that Kyungsoo’s birthday is coming – only two days before his. Jongin rested his head on Kyungsoo’s desk and looked at her intently. Jongin really liked the double chin he’s seeing.

“I – don’t know how to be Jiyeon, Jongdae. If ever I’m going to throw a party, I would bet you’ll all bore yourselves down.”

Jongdae shakes his head. “Come on, Soo – you’re one of the riches here so I trust you with all my heart that you’ll host one. We need parties you know. It makes us civilized and you know how others stereotype us because of our course?”

“I agree to the stereotype description they give us.” Jongin butts in and he got Kyungsoo staring at him. She blushes, looking away.

“So you agree that you’re so boring and you just don’t like to mingle and have fun because you like to keep yourself disclosed with other people – okay live like a caveman Jongin.” Jongdae spats like his words are hot water but Jongin isn’t affected. He likes to live it that way. He has been for the past seventeen years of his life.

“So, If I’ll have a party, I wont invite Jongin then –“ Kyungsoo teased and Jongdae seem to like the idea, nodding his head in agreement. Jongin reaches for Kyungsoo hair and pulled it lightly, wanting her attention. When Kyungsoo’s looking at her he  immediately frowned.

“Why won’t I be invited, Kyungsoo?”

“Because you won’t come?” Kyungsoo answers back, pulling his hair too. “I don’t want to expect from you, Jongin.”

Kyungsoo’s frown makes her cute and – well, sexy. Jongin smiled sheepishly at her and it made Kyungsoo’s cheeks heat up. “Jongin, this is my desk, can you please get off.” She says, pushing Jongin’s head off her desk but Jongin, being the man stubbornly fought back. Too tired because Jongin’s smile is making her weak again, Kyungsoo gave up. She hears Jongdae pushing Jongin away but Jongin didn’t budged. He suddenly reached for Kyungsoo’s face, fingers brushing her fringes to make her forehead visible. Her doe eyes widens as Jongin lit up his face with a smile she have always liked. Maybe that smile got her.

“I can make an exemption to you, Kyungsoo.”

If Jongdae didn’t forcefully pulled Jongin away, making his way between them because he hates being a third wheel in anything. Kyungsoo’s probably dead because of Jongin breathtaking, heart constricting perfection.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

The next day – Kyungsoo and Jongin got the biggest news of their life that will make the next week hell. It wasn’t normal for Jongin to storm in inside their classroom after being called by the dean – and it wasn’t normal for Kyungsoo to be dragged out by an angry looking Jongin. She cant protest – no one cant protest because Jongin- of all the people is the calmest and he instantly changed into this stoic, untouchable mode on. The tan male holding her in the wrist, walking fastly not minding if he bumps into other students made Kyungsoo nervous and tired as hell. When Jongin stopped from walking, he quickly turns around and held Kyungsoo on her shoulders.

“Kyungsoo.” He says heavily, eyes looking at her bigger ones. “I need you.”

Her heart races –  _is this a confession?_ She thinks. She cant even open her mouth so Jongin took the chance.

“Tutor me.” He says and Kyungsoo’s hopes dropped.She hoped to high. “I need you to tutor me.”

“Wa-wait.” She mumbles, removing Jongin’s hands on her shoulder but Jongin placed it back again. Calm is nowhere to be found in Jongin’s face and it confuses her too much “Can you please calm down for a while?”

The tan male heaves a deep breath before opening his mouth. “I’m failing our english class and the dean gave me a chance because I’ll represent the uni for the intramurals with you. He says I can take a special exam to make up the points that I needed to past and gave me the pointers but I really don’t know where to start! Tutor me, Kyungsoo – I need you so bad. I’ll treat you lunch?”

“Wai-wait a minute Jongin!” Kyungsoo still cant grab what’s happening. “What participate in the intramurals with you? What are you talking about? And how come you’re failing? You’re smart!”

“You’re smart.” He corrects. “I told you before – I always get average but it wasn’t enough. Our english professor’s standards on grades is so high. I was conceited that I’ll pass it because I’m a tennis player but it doesn’t cover it. I know it’s burdening you but I really need you to tutor me. And the line up for the intramurals is already fixed so if you’re thinking of talking about it to our coach then you’ll waste your time”

They stared at each other and Kyungsoo cant really hide her disappointment with Jongin – more to herself because she thought Jongin’s  _I need you_  means something more special and it can make their relationship bloom. She turns with a  _hmmp._ and started walking away. Jongin who’s unsure if Kyungsoo’s upset or not chased her and continuously poked her in her shoulders. “Are you going to tutor me?”

“Lunch and after practice for the tennis club. Everyday. I wont really make it easy for you. You should take this help seriously.” After all, Kyungsoo doesn’t have the heart to let Jongin alone. She’ll gladly help him – thought he’s still disappointed how an  _I need you_ made everything worst for her.

 

Kyungsoo sprints off and it made Jongin smile, contented with his little accomplishment in getting close to Kyungsoo again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

Kyungsoo obligated Jongin to follow her conditions in her free review class – well not really free because Jongin gives her food – and he teases her because she eats everything served to her. It’s not a bad thing not to be picky with food for Kyungsoo but Jongin’s making fun of her.

“where’s your friend?” Kyungsoo asks as Jongin sauntered at the table amidst the trees near the soccer field. One of Kyungsoo’s condition is to study somewhere away from crowds. It’s for Jongin’s sake because she knows he’ll be easy to distract. And with this condition comes with the follow up: Companions are needed. So she won’t get awkward and won’t think it’s a study date.

Placing the table with to plates of milky pasta on it – Jongin scratched his head. “Chanyeol backed out. Says he has practice. I can’t drag anyone in our group because they’re rowdy. And you don’t like me to get distracted, right?”

Kyungsoo sighed. Baekhyun ditched her too. She’s sure Baekhyun knew that she’ll be staying with Jongin so that rascal made reasons not to join them. “Anyways. We can still study together without them – it’s not like they can help me.” Jongin kids as he took the empty place beside Kyungsoo.

“Why are you sitting there?” she tenses up and it’s good Jongin’s busy arranging her plate in front of her.

“Because there’s no one sitting beside you.”

“You can sit across.”

“I demand to sit here.” Jongin scoots closer to Kyungsoo and put out his modules. “So I can hear your beautiful voice loud and clear.”

Taken aback, Kyungsoo moved away slightly. “okay. So, while eating, I want you to read your modules about subject verb agreements..”

“I can’t really understand why we should study English – we’re art majors!“

Kyungsoo gives him a pointed look before putting her food in her mouth. “It’s essential for us to learn  the basics in English. I swear you’ll even thank our professor in the future.”

“Fine fine –“ Jongin agreed, forcing himself. He grabs Kyungsoo’s hand that holds her fork and quickly ate the food in it, flicking Kyungsoo’s forehead after. “You don’t need to be angry – it’ll attract boys.”

_But it will never attract you._ Kyungsoo thinks at the back of her head but Jongin thinks otherwise.

Few moments after eating few spoonfuls, Jongin suddenly pulled Kyungsoo in her arm and leaned closer. He wasn’t sure if it’s his heart that he’s hearing or Kyungsoo’s because their faces is just an inch apart. “Can you give me examples of how we construct Korean sentences to English?”

“Uh-uhm yes, sure.” Kyungsoo croaks as she gets a pen and started writing at Jongin’s papers. He took the opportunity to rest head with his elbows propped on the table. Kyungsoo was talking about verbs and pronouns and Jongin doesn’t mind it all. He’s focused on how Kyungsoo would open and close her mouth and wondered how soft it feels and how her brows would crease into a frown because she’s trying to make it easier for her. Jongin was left in dazed not until he felt someone pinching him on his sides. It was Kyungsoo and all Jongin was to cry in pain.

“Ouch – ouch – ouch! Kyungsoo stop! That’s harassment!”

“I told you, I won’t go easy on you. I’m giving you my time and I won’t let you waste it just because you’re making fun of me again!”

“I’m not making fun of you, I swear! I’m admiring you – ouch stop don’t twist it even more! I’ll pay attention!” Jongin swears, crying and pleading Kyungsoo to stop. “I promise I swear I’m not making fun of you.”

Kyungsoo, who took pity releases him and smiled. “Study now, Mr. Kim.”

“You shouldn’t be a teacher. You’ll be sued for hitting your student” Jongin tells her with a pout on his lips, rubbing his tummy and Kyungsoo just mimicked the way he said it.  _You should be my wife instead._

It’s just a wishful thinking. Jongin hopes no one can take that privilege to wish.

 

The practice for the intramurals isn’t as pressuring as what Kyungsoo have overthinked of. She and Jongin gone smooth together in playing against some duos and unlike their first try. Jongin’s always covering up for her and she’s doing the same. The batting of each other racquet never happened again because they have been exchanging glance on who to hit the ball or not. Though when they played with Taemin and Minah – Kyungsoo’s face got hit with the ball twice mainly because Taemin is teasing Jongin. He’s trying to test the tan boy’s patience when Kyungsoo’s getting bullies. Of course, Jongin wont stay still – not until he gets back to Taemin. He cant always bike his way to their home and give him some beatings. He let goes of Taemin because he has an hour or two session with Kyungsoo in the library before they go home.

When he finished packing his things, Kyungsoo is nowhere to be seen in gym so he immediately seeks Minah who’s currently on her way out. Minah gives him a depressed exhale before telling him where’s his “apple of the eye”.

“Kyungsoo really do have a little faith in herself, doesn’t she?”

Jongin tilted his head as he gave Minah a confused look. His friend shrugs. “You wont know until you have broken her barriers. Goodluck loverboy”

 

Minah’s statement didn’t left his mind on his way to the library. Most students are scattered, busy copying notes as they bury themselves in the secluded desks. There weren’t much people so Jongin easily spots Kyungsoo at the end of the long table for group studying with her bun hair sticking out the crowd. He silently goes to her place and took the seat beside her. He notices Kyungsoo looking at her photo gallery in her phone and realized that they aren’t still exchanging mails with each other. He puts out his own and handed it over her – making Kyungsoo do her signature shrieking when she’s suddenly disturbed.

“I don’t need a new phone –“ she kids and Jongin lightly flicked her forehead. Kyungsoo glared at him and scrunched her nose up.

“Give me your number –“ he orders and he knows that she’ll protest of getting each other’s number is irrelevant even before Kyungsoo opened her mouth so Jongin immediately cover her mouth with his hand – not too loose nor suffocating. “Do it, Ms. Do. I don’t want to hear anything from you.”

Jongin smiles as Kyungsoo gets his phone and followed him. “You know it’s irrelevant to – right?”

“How would I contact you if I can’t understand anything when I’m doing home study?” he grins cheekily, and his reasoning made Kyungsoo frown.

Cant they be really friends? Kyungsoo felt that Jongin have been talking to her because she’s  benefitable to everyone.

“Hey, don’t give me that face.” Jongin whispers, hoping that Kyungsoo’s sulky face would go away. “Wanna share what you’re thinking?”

Kyungsoo didn’t want to talk – because if she talked, she’ll let her heart open to Jongin but she knows, in the end, she’ll always be the  _Kyungsoo, his classmate who excels in her study._ Nothing more. But when she looked at Jongin’s eyes, hoping for her to speak up… her walls slowly came crushing down. “Do you think everyone around you is your friends? How do people become friends? Have you ever felt so unsure with yourself?”

“No. I don’t know and No” Jongin answers all her questions at once. “A friend isn’t a simple label to give away to everyone easily. I prefer to call them acquaintances or companions. I don’t know how – we just feel it right? And no. I havent felt so unsure with myself. Doubting myself and my capabilities with not make a better person out of me. You know – I think you’re doubting yourself big time.”

Kyungsoo kept her mouth shut. And Jongin was smart enough to know that he shouldn’t force her to speak anymore. He wanted to comfort her but he doesn’t know how. How can Jongin know? He knows he doesn’t have the right to ask her to date him because he doesn’t know what really runs in her mind. But he still wanted too. He wants to be someone Kyungsoo will talk when things bother her and wants to be the one who’ll comfort her and assure her of things. “You can always tell anything to me – okay?”

The girl nods as she gave some papers to Jongin. She thinks Jongin must really be the type of person she can never reach out with what he said so Kyungsoo just let it slip. It’s not like Jongin would really care if she’ll say . They’re just acquaintances trying to comfort each other. Nothing more. They can never be friends. And Kyungsoo doesn’t want to continue her hopes of seeing him in her party.

“Translate this – then we’ll study each after.”

When Kyungsoo gave him a weak smile – it was the first time he disliked that upward curves on her lips.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

Kyungsoo and Jongin had the same routine for the following days. They agreed to meet on Saturdays too after their club activities because Jongin’s exam will be on Friday so they have to hurry in catching up on the lesson that his exam will cover. The practice for the intramurals became intense but Jongin didn’t hear Kyungsoo complaining. She’s very persevering in doing the task opted to her. And it makes her more admirable than before. She also became very gentle in teaching him (she would nag but her nagging makes her really cute and it makes Jongin weak so he ends up accepting everything she says). They’ve became text buddies too. He always starts their conversation with a question about english then he would try to prolong their conversation by saying the things that’s happening to him. He showed her his kids (the giant poodles he’s taking care of) which is rare because the only people who knows it was Chanyeol and taemin. Kyungsoo tries her best not to be attached; thinking that after everything – Jongin’s special exam and the intramurals participation, everything would be back to normal. But even so, she wanted to make every moments of them together last. Lunch is fun because Kyungsoo brings him lunch. the doe eyed lady thinks Jongin is spending too much on her. He became more motivated because of the yummy food she brings. As usual, Kyungsoo’s the quiet one but Jongin managed to worm inside Kyungsoo’s barrier.

On a Monday, he brought his baby pictures to show Kyungsoo a bit of him. Opening a little about his crazy thoughts as a kid. Kyungsoo laughed at him and his pictures when he was five.

He’s nude, running away from the camera with a Barbie on his hand and that picture of him with Taemin where his eyes are fluffy and red and it’s obvious that he cried but Taemin’s smiling.

He likes the way Kyungsoo showed him how she was when she’s a kid – she doesn’t have much friends because she lacks self esteem and self trust that she’s very likeable and cute. Jongin gave a sincere comment “ _you’re very cute till now.”_ But Kyungsoo just asked him to stop making fun of her, not believing him.

 

 

 

On Tuesday, Kyungsoo didn’t go to school because she needs to prepare everything for her party. She needs to check the venue and the foods and the dress she’ll wear. Luhan and Baekhyun helped her in making a choice if she’ll stick to her black gown or the Alice in Wonderland theme her mom wanted to do. After finalizing that she’ll be Kyungsoo in Wonderland, her two best friends helped her sending the invitations by mail. Baekhyun noticed that Jongin didn’t had any invitations so she asked Luhan not to go home early and talk to their friend at home about that matter.

“I am so tired!” Luhan exclaims as she let herself fall onto Kyungsoo’s bed. Baekhyun keeps on eyeing Kyungsoo who seemed so drained too.

“Soo – did you give Jongin his invitation already?” Baekhyun asks and Kyungsoo shook her head. She sat by her window and looked outside. “You know I won’t let you live if you won’t ask him to come, right?”

“I have a confession to make.” Kyungsoo announces and Luhan immediately rose up into a sitting attention. Baekhyun pays attention to every word. “Jongin and I have been spending too much together but I havent managed to give him his invitation.”

“And why is that?”

“I don’t think I’m his friend… to do it? And one more thing – I think I’m falling in love with him”

“What are you talking about?” Baekhyun shouts. “ _I wont freak out with the falling in love part – I’m ready for that._ You and Jongin have been together – in the library, at the gym, sharing lunch outside the canteen and you still think you arent friends with him? You’re practically spending the whole day with him so why in the world would you think that?”

Kyungsoo raises her brow at  Baekhyun and Luhan doesn’t know what’s happening. “Are you spying on me? On  _us??_ ”

“It doesn’t matter.” Baekhyun tries to escape Kyungsoo’s interrogation about her and her spying activities. “Kyungsoo, is that the only reason why you still arent giving his invitation?”

“I don’t know – I don’t want to be friends with him. I want to be something more but I cant demand anything. I don’t want to assume that one day, he’ll feel the same way towards me. I don’t want to expect from too much from him. So I’m trying not to fall for him anymore”

“Why would you think something like that??” Baekhyun walks towards her and ran a comforting hand on her back. “Arent you happy that the awkwardness between the two of you is gone? You’re getting along with him…”

“I’m happy.” Kyungsoo admits as she buries her face on her palms. “I’m so happy that he needs me and happy that he talks to me even though I don’t speak much. When we’re together,  try not to be overwhelmed with the happiness because I’m scared, one day, everything we have will suddenly disappear and I don’t know how will I’ll deal with the pain. I don’t want to be rejected. ”

When Kyungsoo started to sob – Luhan runs to her and gave her a hug. “Soo – you know you still haven’t tried. You’re thinking wrongly about Jongin because of your fear.”

  
“Cant help it – Mom and Dad used to be so happy together too but they ended up filing divorce with each other. Dad is Mom’s happiness but he just suddenly disappeared. Then the next thing we knew, he had a new family already.”

“Kyungsoo –“ Baekhyun sounded like his begging. “You and Jongin are different from your parents. You shouldn’t stress out on this. How would Jongin feel if he knew that among your group, he’s the only one who havent got an invitation? Why are you so sure that he wont come?”

“Jiyeon invited him in her party but he didn’t come.” Kyungsoo rubbed her eyes. Wiping her tears and Luhan helped her with it. “And he says he’s not really into going to parties.”

“Just give him his, tomorrow. If he will not come then I swear I’ll ask Chanyeol to kick him in the ass –“

Luhan and Kyungsoo gave Baekhyun a look – so intimidating and judging. “is it just me or you’re being too familiar with Chanyeol?”

“Are you hiding something?”

Baekhyun sweats coldly. “Okay. I like him. He likes me but we’re not an item. That’s it I don’t want to elaborate. Talk to Jongin and give him his invitation, Do Kyungsoo.”

 

 

 

 

*****

The very next day, Kyungsoo have managed to make herself presentable. She asked her mom to braid her hair and she have checked Jongin’s invitation inside her bag a million of times because she’s afraid she might left it. Baekhyun told her that she should just casually hand it to him but Kyungsoo cant really do it casually. She’s nervous as hell. What if Jongin ask her why he havent received his via mail like the others?  She doesn’t know what excuse to make. Her nervousness were at it’s peak when her childhood friend – Yixing called her at the girl’s washroom. They haven’t been talking to each other often but they are close. It’s just that Yixing had her own group of friends that Kyungsoo didn’t liked. She’s friends with Jiyeon’s bunch and she doesn’t want Yixing to lose her friends because she’s sure Jiyeon doesn’t like her existence..

 

“Wow, Soo – I’m so excited to come!” Yixing jumps, her eyes shining as she holds Kyungsoo’s hands tightly.“Is Joonmyeon invited too?”

“Everyone in my group is invite– wait, do you like Joonmyeon?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes as Yixing tried to hide the crimson color of her face. “Am I obvious? Do you think if I talk to him, he’ll talk to me too?”

“Believe me, Joonmyeon will definitely narrate his autobiography to you even without asking for it –“ the two girls giggled, not realizing that Jiyeon – entered the comfort room too. Kyungsoo don’t know how to act normal so she kept her mouth shut. Yixing greeted the lady and Jiyeon smiled back as she checks herself on the mirror.

“I heard you’re holding a birthday party this Saturday?” Jiyeon asks, giving her a glance. Kyungsoo don’t know if the comfort room doesn’t have proper ventilation or Jiyeon and her blonde hair is just suffocating her.

“Yeah… uhm, it wasn’t big. Just a simple one.”

“Oh? Am I invited?”

Cornered, Kyungsoo just nodded. “Yeah. I distributed the invitation via mail. Have you received yours?”

“No –“ Jiyeon finishes grooming herself and faced Kyungsoo. “but it’s okay. I’ll tell it to you earlier that I can’t make it. I have stuffs to do this Saturday and you gave yours a short notice so I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” Was the only thing that came out of her. She can also feel Yixing tensing up with the way Jiyeon eyes them.

“Say – is Jongin invited too??”

“No.”  _Not yet. Not until I personally invited him._ Kyungsoo tenses up even more and felt that her palms are getting sweaty.

Jiyeon raises her brows and crossed her arms. “Really? Why? I’ve seen the both of you a lot of times. I almost thought you’re dating. Aren’t you even friends with him?”

“No – No!” Kyungsoo defends, lowering her voice. She still can’t really tell if they’re friends. She’ll ask it later too, after giving the invitations. “Companions. We’re just companions.”

“Are you tutoring him?”

“you can say that –“

“Don’t you like him because you’re doing too much favor for him –“

“I –“ Kyungsoo don’t know what to say. She doesn’t really want anyone to know that she’s crushing on Jongin until he knows it first.

Her silence gave Jiyeon a chance to bombard her with comments.

“Ahh! I get it. You’re helping him for charity? That so nice, Kyungsoo.”

“Well – uhm.. I don’t know. Yes?”

A victorious smile crept up onto Jiyeon’s face. Kyungsoo felt really down with her because she felt like she have became a bad person all of a sudden. “Well, then that’s good to hear. I’ll be going okay? Enjoy your party.”

 

Silence scattered in the girl’s wash room and Yixing noticed how Kyungsoo’s face fell. “We always see you and Jongin eating together and it just annoys her. So that’s why she intimidates youAren’t you friends with him, Soo? Because the way I saw it last week – you’re close with him.”

“I don’t want to assume things from him, Yixing.” Kyungsoo sighs and Yixing patted her shoulders.

“Then ask him. Invite him maybe in your party? Who knows things may change between the two of you? And Kyungsoo, I’m on your side. always.”

Kyungsoo thanked Yixing with a hug because her words have given her encouragement.

 

**_Me_ **

_Kyungsoo are you okay?_

**_Kyungsoo <3_ **

_I’m sorry. You must be wondering where am I yesterday. I’m okay!_

**_Me_ **

_Yeah. No one knows where you’re up too… Are you coming to school today? I have something to ask you.._

**_Kyungsoo <3_ **

_Yes._

**_Me_ **

_See you! ;)_

 

**_Kyungsoo <3_ **

_See you ~~_

 

Jongin turned off his phone as he excitedly made his way inside their building. He have bugged everyone about Kyungsoo’s whereabouts yesterday because she didn’t  replied on his text and he doesn’t want to call her and give this clingy impression towards her. He gave Taemin a headache, staying at their place overnight,  all night awake because he can’t stop talking about how he missed KYungsoo and about how he can surprise her on her birthday. He wants it to be memorable as possible – maybe give something that can change what’s between them. Jongin never courted a girl before. Koreans don’t. If the feeling is mutual, they would just a girl if they want to be their girlfriend but he doesn’t want that. He wants to make Kyungsoo feel that she’s important and he’s willing to wait for her. He knows KYungsoo will not believe him at first and might go hard on him but he’s okay with that. No pain no glory.

_“Kyungsoo!!”_

Jongin turned his head from side to side after hearing that name and it made his heart skipped. He always feel giddy if he’s hearing her name because it means that she’s just near. He wants her near.

He founds her being dragged by the Chinese friend of Jiyeon who’s too innocent about the world. She’s very beautiful and talented and a bit taller than Kyungsoo. She’s easy to talk to but Jongin forgot her name. He didn’t know Kyungsoo’s friends with a person whose her complete opposite but it delights him to see Kyungsoo getting excited with the sight of her friend. They went inside the girls washroom and he follows them, going at the boy’s washroom and wait for Kyungsoo to be alone. He’s planning to corner her and maybe talk on the way to their room together.

It wasn’t long when he felt a pair of hands wrapped around his arm. He turned to his side and sees Jiyeon smiling sweetly at him. “Hey Jongin! How are you?”

“Uhh, fine. You?” he smiles awkwardly as he carefully removed Jiyeon’s hold to him. He’s very sure she’ll cling to him and suffocate him with her vanilla perfume that makes him sneeze to death.

“I’m good! But I’m still mad at you for not going to my party.”

“I thought we’re done having hard feelings to me?”

“No – still not done. Unless you’ll treat me somewhere later? Compensate.”

Jongin loosens his collared shirt and smiled. He doesn’t want to leave Kyungsoo but he thinks if he gives in to Jiyeon’s request for this time, she would leave him. “Okay. I give you my time this lunch.”

The blonde girl squealed and peeled herself off him. “Yey! No turning backs okay?”

Jongin nods and he thanked all the gods watching him when Jiyeon said goodbye to him as she went inside the washroom. He doesn’t hate Jiyeon – she’s nice. it’s just she gives him too much attention and demand too much from him. It’s obvious that she likes him but Jongin cant like her back so he steers away from her. Kyungsoo is the only girl he have liked and he doesn’t want to give Jiyeon false feelings.

He was about to get inside their washroom and kill time while waiting for Kyungsoo when he heard Jiyeon.. loud and clear.

“I heard you’re holding a birthday party this Saturday?”  _A party? Kyungsoo’s going to have a party?_

Jongin hears Kyungsoo answering with her sweet low voice. He moved closer to hear more of their conversation though it’s not right.  _Jongin was damn curious._ “Yeah… uhm, it wasn’t big. Just a simple one.”

“Oh? Am I invited?”

 “Yeah. I distributed the invitation via mail. Have you received yours?”

“No – but it’s okay. I’ll tell it to you earlier that I can’t make it. I have stuffs to do this Saturday and you gave yours a short notice so I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I understand.”

“Say – is Jongin invited too??” Hearing his name being dragged into the conversation made him anticipate even more. He’s hoping he’s invited because he wants to come – spend her birthday together. His face fell when he hears Kyungsoo “ _No_.”

Jongin’s sure that it saddened him but it doesn’t stopped him from listening further. He expected to much and he doesn’t know why he feels like shit. He wants to ask Kyungsoo why he isn’t invited? He feels bad.

“Really? Why? I’ve seen the both of you a lot of times. I almost thought you’re dating. Aren’t you even friends with him?”  _Come on Kyungsoo – aren’t I a friend to you?_

“No – No! Companions. We’re just companions.”

Jongin ‘s heart broke into pieces. He’s cool with being not invited because maybe Kyungsoo wanted to celebrate privately. He hopes that it was the reason.

“Are you tutoring him?”

“you can say that –“

“Don’t you like him because you’re doing too much favor for him – Ahh! I get it. You’re helping him for charity? That so nice, Kyungsoo.”

That’s it. He had enough hearing their conversation. All this time Jongin thought Kyungsoo’s tutoring because they’re friends. Not out of charity. With clenched fist and disappointed heart, Jongin walked away and decided just go to their classroom.

It made him feel worse because he can hear his friends talking about Kyungsoo’s invitation they’ve received yesterday. So instead of getting in and feel so disappointed with Kyungsoo, Jongin thought of going somewhere. He doesn’t feel attending any class today and see Kyungsoo for awhile.

_He cant believe Kyungsoo doesnt see him as a friend – they’ve been together for a long time. And he’s still just… like a stranger for her…_

 

 

“Where’s Jongin?” Jongdae asks and everyone in Kyungsoo’s group gave a questioning look. Kyungsoo checked her phone and it’s just five minutes before their class to start.

“He shouldn’t come late you know –“ Kei mumbles as she sat down beside Kyungsoo. “Soo, text Jongin for us.”

“Yeah – text him for us!” Sehun chimes. “You two got closer now so I’m expecting you have each other’s numbers already.”

Joonmyeon comes to her, slamming his hands on her desk. “Kyungsoo is that the reason why you aren’t hanging out with us during lunch? Tell me you that you’d still choose my company over him!”

Kyungsoo rolled her eyes, ignoring Joonmyeon. She can see Joonmyeon getting all dramatic again over the fact that she and Jongin has gotten closer. Jongdae added fuel to the fire of Joonmyeon drama when he told him that Jongin’s really snatching her away and she would like to thank Sehun for telling him that she doesn’t belong to anybody to begin with; that she can choose who she wants to hang out with.

 

**_Me_ **

_Where are you? Everyone’s searching for you._

She waited for a response but none came. Kyungsoo finds it weard because Jongin answers her in a speed of light. She thinks of asking him later at lunch.

 

Jongdae is fast to get a hold of her, preventing her from leaving without them for lunch. She’s forced because Joonmyeon tagged along in dragging her with them. Kei and Sehun cant stop the two of the most childish person in the group so they just gave Kyungsoo an apologetic look. She still have to give Jongin a few lesson and his invitation but Jongdae and Jongin are being cockblockers of the century. Kyungsoo wants to murder them.

“Look, Jongin and I aren’t hanging out for no reason! We’re not abandoning you guys.” Kyungsoo explained but the two isn’t listening to her. They still carried on, guarding her on both sides. “I’m helping him to study for his special test! Only that.”

“ _Yeah. Only that.”_

Kyungsoo immediately turned around upon hearing that voice and surprised to see Jongin standing from behind with his hands on his pockets, not looking well. From the ways he looks – without the cheeky smile he always have, Kyungsoo knew something’s wrong. He walked towards them and removed Jongdae and Joonmyeon’s hold on her arms.

“Can we talk for awhile – alone?” he says but Jongdae frowned.

“You okay dude? Where have you been? You slacked off and you’re getting Kyungsoo from us again!”

“It wont take long.” Kyungsoo was taken aback with the way he smiled and she feels the tingy feeling in her spine. Jongdae lets go of her and Joonmyeon told Jongin he have five minutes. When the corridors is clear of people, Jongin looked at her, lifelessly. There’s no twinkle in his eyes anymore. More like anger and  pain.

She scoots closer but then stops when Jongin smiled at her again. “Kyungsoo, I just want to tell you that I’m sorry for taking too much of your time – you don’t have to tutor me anymore.”

“Jo-jongin – I”

“Don’t feel bad.” Jongin pats her shoulder instead of patting her head which he normally does – everything feels so different. “I don’t want to burden you anymore. After all we aren’t friends. It was wrong to ask a companion for a big help –“

With one tap on the shoulder, Jongin walk passed her, like nothing happened.

It took minutes after Kyungsoo regained herself. Jongin must heard something to say and act like that. She ran inside the canteen and finds Jongin sitting with Jiyeon – enjoying his lunch. While she keeps repeating to herself that she shouldn’t cry and make a scene.

_Maybe Jongin doesn’t need her anymore._

 

 

 

 

 

_*****_

Taemin noticed Jongin and Kyungsoo being distant with each other when their coach called them for a meeting for the upcoming competition next week. Jongin is being weird for him because he looked so out of himself and Kyungsoo’s sitting with Minah, trying to be as cheery as possible. They were gathered in one side of the bleachers in the gym when their coach spoke to them.

“I need someone to come this Saturday and help me arranged the uniforms of the players for the intramurals.” She shouts because the basketball team is currently practicing too. Kyungsoo kept silent. Minah and Taemin looked at each other because they possibly cant volunteer because they got Kyungsoo’s invitation. The tennis club players murmured with each other about not being free but suddenly became quiet when Jongin raised his hand. Taemin can see Kyungsoo’s disappointed look at Jongin and he cant possibly understand what was the reason for him to do such thing – it’s Kyungsoo’s birthday party that Saturday. There’s no second thinking about it – Jongin and Kyungsoo had a misunderstanding with each other.

Their coach reminded them of intense training next week. When the meeting adjourned, Minah took the initiative to follow Kyungsoo and Taemin went to confrot Jongin. He hits Jongin at back of his neck as he gathers his stuffs.

“What the hell was that for –“ Jongin hissed and tried to hit Taemin back but his friend twisted his hand the moment he reached for him. “Taemin what the hell –“

“You aren’t cool for volunteering, you know! You made Kyungsoo sad! It’s her party this Saturday!” Taemin lectured, twisting his hands again and it made Jongin cried louder in pain. “What the hell comes to your brilliant bird brain huh?”

Jongin managed to pushed Taemin away and started sulking in one corner. “Are you siding her, Taemin?”

“No. I don’t side anyone.”

Jongin looks at Taemin and sighed. “I need to kill time while you guys enjoy her party –“

“What?”

“I’m not invited like you guys.” Jongin says bitterly, slinging his bag on his shoulder. “Now if you’ll let me, I still need to study for my special exam this Friday.”

 

 

 

 

*****

The following days, Kyungsoo and Jongin tried to act normal  when they’re hanging out as a group. Kyungsoo became the quiet one again, being teased by everyone constantly by Jongdae and being babied by Joonmyeon. She still looks out for Jongin, though. She wants to come to him and offer help when he starts scratching his head as he curls his brows while reading his modules He usually studies when the group is talking.

Things get awkward when Jongdae starts talking about her party. Jongin would just stick in his earphones and try to remove himself and his participation in the group. It saddens Kyungsoo but couldn’t do or say anything.

The practice isn’t a problem because Jongin asked for permission not to attend it for his special exam. Since he volunteered for Saturday – their coach permitted him. Kyungsoo tries her best not to be obvious among her friends but Baekhyun isn’t like them. She’s as keen as a hawk.

 

 Baekhyun got the chance to see one of Jongin’s friends – the towering Park Chanyeol of the basketball team, alone at one of the public sinks near the school’s gym, Friday afternoon. He’s washing his face and Baekhyun took the chance to talk to him in private and well – check him out in his wife-beater and sweatpants. She fake coughs and Chanyeol noticed her standing with her arms crossed.

“Hey, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun raised her brow at Chanyeol. “Don’t smile at me. Stupid.”

There’s something in the way Chanyeol smiled at her before drying his face with a towel. “Why not? Stop frowning. I find it sexy, you know.”

Baekhyun grunts. “I need to talk to you.”

“It depends if you’ll answer me or not?” The tall guy scoots closer. Making them only inches away from each other. “Are you still angry with me? I swear I didn’t have any interactions with Jiyeon last Saturday.”

Baekhyun stopped Chanyeol from scooting closer with her hands propped on his chest. He smells sweet and sweat and Baekhyun’s too intimidated with him and his height. “There’s something wrong with your friend. Do you know?”

“You didn’t answer me?” Chanyeol still smiles and Baekhyun didn’t want to look anymore. She’s very sure Chanyeol’s heat is making her suffocated. “Look. I know we’re not an item but I know you’re jealous. It’s okay to admit it, Baekhyun.”

“Fine!” Baekhyun cries and Chanyeol smiled triumphantly. “Okay. I am jealous. So you have to make up to me.”

“A kiss is the only thing I can offer you.” Chanyeol kids and Baekhyun pinched him on his sides.

“Be serious and answer me!” Baekhyun continued to assault Chanyeol with her pinches but the tall guy is quick to hold her hand and got her cornered to a wall and smiled. “Okay. I’m serious now.”

“Is Jongin saying something to you?”

“Nothing. He wont tell anything but he’s extremely sulky and he started hanging out with me again yesterday.”

“You didn’t asked why?”

“Why” Chanyeol asked, holding Baekhyun in her hips. “is it about Kyungsoo again?”

“Obviously” Baekhyun sighed as she wrapped her arms around Chanyeol’s neck… “You should really thank her for being the reason why I talked to you.”

“Okay. That wounds me.” Chanyeol chuckles. “You’re being a cupid again to those lovesick lovers.”

 

“Kyungsoo’s sad. Something’s wrong.” Chanyeol was surprised but nevertheless tried to comfort her by running circles behind her back. “I don’t know but I can feel that they had a misunderstanding. Kyungsoo’s party is tomorrow. That cant happen.” Baekhyun’s frown deepens more and Chanyeol can’t really take it so he leans down and placed a quick kiss on her lips. Usually, Baekhyun would throw hate at him because they weren’t an item – but sometimes, Baekhyun would just let him. They doesn’t have labels. He’s been courting Baekhyun for months and even though Baekhyun said no to him – they still became more than friends. He’s willing to wait until Baekhyun resolve her issues about commiting as long as she gives him assurance that their feeling is mutual. And Baekhyun never failed to do that.

“Do you want me to talk it out to Jongin?”

“Can you do it, Chanyeol?”

“Yeah. I can manage.”

 “Sorry for asking too much from you. Like keeping an eye on him.” Baekhyun smiled finally, pulling Chanyeol for a hug.”I’m starting to like you again.”

“I would gladly take an eye on my best friend just to make you say yes to me –“

“Then yes, Chanyeol. Yes I’m going to date you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

******

Kyungsoo’s big day comes and she’s in mixed emotion as she waits for the time for her to be introduced by his mom on stage. She glances at the clock on the walls and in a few more minutes she would face everyone with her glittering baby blue tube gown and celebrate her day of maturity with them. She’s nervous because facing people is not her thing. Being in gowns and make up isn’t her. She walks to and fro in the room where she’s waiting until the door silently opens and Luhan’s head cautiously popped in. “Hey!”

Kyungsoo pulled her inside and she’s glad to see Baekhyun behind too . She excitedly hugs her friends and Sehun cried because it will ruin her hair. Kyungsoo managed to take a look at the both and it’s like Luhan and Baekhyun dressed like angels and demons. Luhan’s the angel with her white flower dress and Baekhyun’s the devil – just because. She wears a yellow dress and it made her beautiful than ever.

“You look stunning – cant it be always that you dress up like this.” Luhan compliments, touching Kyungsoo’s cheek. “I feel like crying to see you like this.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun butts in, pulling Luhan off Kyungsoo. “Don’t dare cry because I’ve worked hard on your make up – and Sehun’s there.”

Kyungsoo laughed hard as she sniffed and really tried her best not to tear up because of the mention of Sehun. Watching her friends there for her is enough. She’d been thinking of Jongin. She wished she could’ve just even give Jongin his invitation. It would be fun if he’s there. But sadly, he wasn’t. Baekhyun noticed Kyungsoo became quiet again and gave her a tight hug. “You aren’t telling me stuffs, Kyungsoo.”

“It’s nothing. I just realized how hard to deal with someone like me – and I’m thankful you not giving up on me.”

“I will never give up on you.” Baekhyun sobbed as she held tighter. “You have to enjoy and look pretty. Whatever happens, you need to be happy. This is your day.”

“Yey. Grouphug!” Luhan suddenly cheered, joining the two and hug. Kyungsoo still hoped Jongin would come. That would make her a birthday really complete.

 

When Baekhyun and Luhan came out to let the stylist give final touches on Kyungsoo’s make up, her phone rings. It was a message from Chanyeol she’s least expecting

**_Chanyeol_ **

_Jongin didn’t have his invitation. He’s at the university rn, doing charity work for the tennis club._

 

“Luhan. I need to go somewhere. Distract Kyungsoo if she asks for me.”

“Wait – Baekkie!” Luhan panicks as Baekhyun removed her heels. Baekhyun grinned at Luhan and that made her blonde friend at ease.

“I am going to bring a present for Kyungsoo by hook or by crook. Now go and mingle casually with everyone.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

“You should at least make me entertained” Chanyeol says as he finds Jongin swimming deep in his thoughts  He sits there physically with him, checking the uniforms and the shoes of the tennis club members, putting labels but Chanyeol really knows his mentally lost somewhere. Probably at the hotel where Kyungsoo’s party happens.

Jongin stares blankly into space and bit his finger. “I think I became too harsh on Kyungsoo –“

“What did you even do to her?“ Chanyeol interrogates. “Besides the fact that you felt bitter for not receiving an invitation?” he adds and it stings like an alcohol poured on an injured skin.

 “It bothers me.” Jongin looked at his tall friend, confused and worried. “I mean – I think I shouldn’t have said that I don’t treat her as a friend too, left her all of a sudden without hearing her explanation. We arent talking for days now.”

“I can’t believe you said that to her, Kim Jongin!” an angry female voice spoke from behind and it was quickly followed by a pouch being thrown at Jongin’s head. Confused with what’s happening, Jongin brings himself to turn himself around and got a piece of envelope thrown at his face by one of Kyungsoo’s short friend, Baekhyun.

He scans the envelope and found his name written on it – handwriting familiar to him.

“Now I know why Kyungsoo didn’t give you your invitation! You don’t have any brains at all.” Baekhyun hissed and it was Chanyeol who tried to calm her down, putting his jersey on her because she’s too exposed. Jongin stood up and picked her pouch.

“She said it herself – I’m not invited. I heard her. I’m not even considered one of her friends!” Jongin reasoned back. “Tell me, for a person who likes her so much like I do, wont you feel bad? I felt bad about treating her that way but Baekhyun – she’s not the one who’s getting hurt here.”

“You suddenly cut everything between the two of you without hearing her – you don’t have the right to think about pain because she feels the exact pain you have.”she continues. “Kyungsoo’s a lot more stupid than you do so – she doesn’t assume, she’s afraid to give labels. She’s careful with the people around her because she doesn’t want to hope too high! You probably don’t know but if you don’t tell her, she wont know. If you didn’t made it clear – she wont understand.”

Jongin bit his tongue inside his mouth and let Baekhyun shout at him – he deserves it. “She’s very very very very fragile you wont even touch her if you knew. And she wouldn’t let anyone in her life so easy because she knows you can probably hurt her in the end but she did – she let you. If you have been more understanding on her part, Jongin. Then things might be better between the two of you!”

Baekhyun takes her leave and he noticed Chanyeol wanted to follow her but he’s torn in staying to give him a hand. “Go, Chanyeol. She needs someone or else there’s abig chance she’ll throw away her heels to anyone she sees annoying.”

Chanyeol bit his lip. Still not moving. “Jongin – do you still like Kyungsoo?”

“I never disliked her.” Jongin clears. “my feelings for her will never change. If it does, then it would be the other way around of disliking.”

“Jongin – Baekhyun have said it. If you won’t tell her, she will not know. Now it’s your call if you’ll clear this tonight or you’ll definitely lose her.” His tall friend gave him a pat in the back and dashed out to follow Baekhyun. He was left in the gym and had his time to think about stuffs.

Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo very well. If she went there to just give him his invitation then it probably meant something. He still can’t understand why Kyungsoo told Jiyeon they’re not friends. Why didn’t she sent his invitation via mail like the others? He’s mind is in a mess when he hears the sliding door of the gym opening. Taemin comes in wearing a black collared long sleeves and his hair gelled fashionably. “You still here? Baekhyun almost ate you – asking you to come with her nagging and you’re still here?” he asks, nonchalantly and Jongin stood from the floor.

“I’ll ask for permission from coach –“ he mumbles. Taemin smiled triumphantly. “I need to see Kyungsoo.  Make up with her. I need to do something.”

Jongin was about to go but Taemin held him in the arm, stopping him. “What, Taemin?”

“I’ll do it.” Taemin says. “Don’t tell me you’ll go at her party wearing some statement shirt and jogging pants?”

Jongin thinks of it as he scans himself. He have totally forgotten – his house is a bit far from the university. The hotel where Kyungsoo’s birthday party is happening is an hour away from his home. It takes too much time. Taemin is just smart enough to think of a better plan and answer to his dilemma.

 

 

 

 

*****

Jongin nervously went inside the hall, sweating madly because he just biked his way at the venue after exchanging clothes with his good bestfriend, Taemin. He feels bad his best friend can’t come because he shouldered his duties. He promises to treat Taemin once he get richer. He got blinded because all the lights in the spacy room is focused on Kyungsoo who’s at the stage, sitting on a mushroom like couch, holding a bouquet of sunflowers. Her parents were at her side, holding their own glass of champagne. Jongin got so mesmerized with the Kyungsoo he’s seeing – her makeup doesn’t give too much effect. She’s beautiful even without it but it made her a lot more lady like. Her frilly baby blue dress and striped long socks made Jongin realized that she’s dressed like Alice in Alice in Wonderland and it was cute.  It was Jongdae who pulled him out of his daydream.

“Dude – where have you been? We thought you won’t come again!” Jongdae whispered in his ear. “Come with me. Don’t stay at somewhere dark and do camouflaging. We won’t see you.”

He was dragged and he happened to pass by Chanyeol – who’s standing beside Baekhyun. He gives an apologetic look but Baekhyun – being the hard headed one just rolled her eyes at him and nodded. Sehun waved at him and he’s standing beside the blondie – Luhan who looked like an angel with her white dress.

Kei pinched him on his sides as soon as he arrives at their table. “Finally, you’re here! You gave us a heart attack! We all thought you aren’t coming!”

“After that incident at the canteen last Wednesday, we thought you and Kyungsoo had a fight.” Joonmyeon added. “I’m sorry if my possessiveness over her ticked you off.”

“No – No.” Jongin tries not ot freak out. “Why would you think that way?”

“Because you stopped spending time with her after it?”

“No – it’s uhm.”

“ _Uhm – good evening…”_ Kyungsoo’s mother spoke over the microphone and everyone stopped their chitchats. “ _I want to thank everyone who came and celebrate with my precious little poop’s eighteenth birthday.”_ The crowd laughed and Jongin can see how embarrassed Kyungsoo is with her mom’s little introduction speech. “ _This celebration isn’t that big. My daughter isn’t that friendly. She takes that trait from her father so I think that’s the reason why.”_ She paused again and started sobbing. Kyungsoo’s father scooted close and comforted her with a casual hug. “ _I just cant believe you grew up well, Kyungsoo. Well, a little bit introverted but  well. Baekhyun and Luhan over there… I know you girls fight seven shades of Sunday and Baekhyun always frustrate over you because you don’t believe in yourself -  they love you. I haven’t met your college friends but I know they shower you with love too. They wont be here if they don’t. These people here – they love you, sweetheart. They support you and they are your friends who you can believe when they say you’re beautiful. You have always been afraid to believe and we know we’re the people to blame. I’m sorry. As a mother – I want you to bloom too – so you have to believe in yourself and everyone around you, okay? Happy Birthday, my little poop”_

Kyungsoo drastically swiped the tears that formed in her eyes and her mascara was ruined and it was so typical of her. Everyone in the hall laughed and it was her father who came rushing to back streak of ink on her milky white face. When everything was back to normal, Kyungsoo’s father stand back from where he is and awkwardly held the microphone. “ _Uhh, how should I put this…”_ he mumbles and Jongin can really see Kyungsoo’s resemblance to him especially the eyes and lips. “ _I havent seen you for awhile, Soo. Dad really can’t form any words to compliment you because you’re just breathtaking – I bet someone out there thinks the same way.”_

“Yeah. She’s breathtaking.” Jongin mumbled but his friends have heard him. They smiled because they can see now how Jongin really sees Kyungsoo.

“ _I guess, I’ll just end up saying sorry here for being a bad Dad but like what you’re  mother have said, you, Kyungsoo have grown up well even without the proper  supervision of parents and I’m very proud of you for that.. You grew up simple and innocent but I can feel that you have been liking some guy? Well, I approve him if he realized how babe you are – but he has to make sure that he wont make you sad and definitely plans on staying with you, putting up with your insecurities. Maybe he can change that insecurities to confidence, too. Do the things I cant do for you.  You’re a lady now and so it’s okay to date. But you always have to promise Dad that you wont change. And you’ll still study hard? Can you promise that?”_

Kyungsoo nods. Both of her parents came to her and hugged her tightly as everyone clapped their hands for such touching moment.. Jongin can see how happy she is. He’s surprised to see when her parents parted ways. Kyungsoo’s mother mingled stayed with some women in her age and her father sat down at the table where a beautiful woman is holding a baby and that made him realize where Kyungsoo is coming from.  Now he can definitely understand.

It wasn’t long when Kyungsoo stood up and smiled at everyone “Stiffy.” She says and Jongin paid attention to her. It’s dark so she probably cant see him there but he hoped she could look at their place and find him. “I’m still in shock to see everyone here. Sorry for the drama.”

Someone shouts “don’t cry” and Kyungsoo just laughed it off, eyes squinting cutely.

“Uhm – my mom really planned this whole introduction thing and I’m surprised. The cue cards say that I’m just going to tell a speech then the party starts but I wasn’t expecting that. I wish it’s always my birthday. I can see people I really like smiling at me – thank you for being here. To my mom, thank you for this. And for the love. I’ll remember everything you said. And Dad – thank you for coming. I’m delighted to see my new baby brother and Aunt Jisoo here. I don’t have anything more to say... uhm… let the uhmm… party – uhm.. begin?” she awkwardly scratched the back of her neck and an upbeat soundsave her from being embarrassed again. Baekhyun was the one who ran up on stage holding her skirt in one hand and the other hand hold the champagne up.

“To Kyungsoo’s new chapter in life!” she shouts and everyone raises up their glasses, cheering for Kyungsoo as they get lost in the music. Kei asked them to go to Kyungsoo and greet her personally. Jongin had other plans, telling them he’ll just make a call but really going to follow Kyungsoo’s father who went out silently as the crowd gets hyped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

******

 

The night gets older and Kyungsoo’s almost done accepting gifts and greetings from her friends and relatives who came. She’s happy to see that everyone’s enjoying her party and, dancing like there’s no tomorrow and mingling with each other like they’ve known each other for so long. Her mom prepared a drinking bar for her guests but no one’s going to get wasted because it’s all light alcoholic drinks. She sees Joonmyeon and Jongdae talking to Yixing who’s obviously trying her best not to act shy around them. Minah befriended Kei because both are left by their guy companions. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were dancing together and she bet that Chanyeol was dragged by Baekhyun because he wears some printed shirt and acid-washed pants. His hair is untamed and Baekhyun’s wears an overly large jersey that obviously his. Luhan’s talking with Sehun on a table and Kyungsoo wanted to tease her because from the way she sees it, Luhan’s stuttering and it’s cute.

Kyungsoo looked around and she felt that sad, empty feeling again of not having Jongin around. She wonders if he did well on his special exam or is he having a rough time at the gym now in helping the coach? Kyungsoo suddenly had this image of Jongin groaning because he’s so tired whle scratching his head and it made her smile. She didn’t even noticed Chanyeol coming to her when the music changed into a much slower song. “Hey, Kyungsoo. Sorry if I came to your party even though I’m not really invited.” Chanyeol says and Kyungsoo quickly shook her head. She came back to reality with his low voice.

 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind it.”

“Can I?” he asks, offering his hand and Kyungsoo gave him a look. Everyone on the dance floor is getting a little more intimate, getting partners and all. Kyungsoo frowns.

“Why not ask Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol just smiled. She wipes her sweaty hand on her skirt and held onto Chanyeol’s with a smile on her face.

“Thank you, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol chuckles as he steps aside, giving way to the behind him that made Kyungsoo gasped loudly. Her free hand cover her mouth because she doesn’t want to create a scene but the person who’s currently holding her hand in place of Chanyeol is making her cry a bucket of tears. “Apparently, my friend here cant ask you for a dance himself and I’m being a good friend to him.” Chanyeol add and Jongin immediately silenced him by nudging the taller in his rib.

“You can go now. Thank you for ruining my image you tall freak.” Jongin pushed Chanyeol away, holding Kyungsoo’s hand tightly.

She cant believe it – Jongin’s there. In front of her. The person she’sbeen wishing to come is there, smiling at her as he nervously hold her waist, pulling them close. Jongin’s smile is so bright and Kyungsoo missed everything about him so much. Jongin on the other hand tried not to shake too much. He’s nervous and he noticed Kyungsoo staring at him blankly.

“You look beautiful, Kyungsoo.” He confessed, and Kyungsoo finally smiled at him. Blushing at him madly.

“You – you came…”

“Of course. I’m invited. I just got my invitation late” He says, pulling Kyungsoo closer to him. Her flushed face is so disarming that he wanted to snatch her away the crowd and keep her with him only. Kyungsoo who gets really shy with her friends looking at them rested his head onto Jongin’s chest and she can hear his heart loud and clear.

“This is so embarrassing.” She whispers. “Let me hide for awhile. I don’t want to see their teasing faces.”

“Lift your head up, Kyungsoo. You’re making me nervous, you know.” She hears Jongin laughing. “My heart is going to have an attack because you’re too close.”

Upon realizing that they’re being too intimate, Kyungsoo looks up to Jongin and smiled. “Sorry, I just feel calmed hearing your heart.”

He swallows hard and cursed at the back of his mind because Kyungsoo’s just so beautiful. He forcefully placed back her head on his chest and hugged her tightly. “Okay. I’d rather let you hear my nervous heart than see you.”

Kyungsoo tried to look up but Jongin prevented her from doing so. She wanted to see Jongin tense up again but she can really settle being hugged by the man she have always adored. They stayed quiet, waltzing across the room and not minding the people around them. For Jongin and Kyungsoo – it’s just them and their hearts beating in sync. Jongin may have his feet being stepped on occasionally by Kyungsoo but he doesn’t mind. He has been dreaming of hugging her, making her feel safe in his arms and a simple pain. When the music turned into lively again and the people started dancing to the beat, Jongin held onto Kyungsoo’s hand and tugged her out the crowd and out of the hall. She wasn’t sure where he’s going to bring her but since it’s Jongin – she gave him no second thought about him.

It wasn’t long when they reached a beautiful garden without anyone but them. They’re far enough from the noise and the only things they could hear was the cicadas’ cry. It wasn’t dark. There are some yellow lights on the plants and the moon is shining bright above them. It’s cold and Jongin wondered why he chose to be outside when Kyungsoo wears thin clothing. Even the hands that he holds is turning colder – Jongin slightly jerks back upon seeing he’s hand was still intertwined with Kyungsoo’s little one. He peeks at the girl beside him and it looks like she’s loving what she’s seeing.

The sky is full of stars and it was the most romantic place a girl would really love. They decided to sat down on the ground and it’s a good thing that Kyungsoo doesn’t mind it if the grass will make her dress dirty. The smile is still on her face and their hands were still holding each other tightly.

“I’m sorry I did an awful thing to you, Kyungsoo” Jongin mumbled under his breath and Kyungsoo stayed quiet as usual. Jongin is not sure what to say next and his silence made Kyungsoo a courage to explain herself.

“You don’t have to be sorry – it was my fault.”

“Kyungsoo, let me speak first –“ Jongin cuts her off as he stared at her straightly in the eyes. “It was wrong for me to eavesdrop on you and Jiyeon. I am so disappointed to hear it from you. I was conceited that I can considered myself as your friend so easily. I didn’t understand you. I thought that I really understand you but I don’t. I just wanted something from you without even knowing where you came from. I got carried away with my jealousy of not receiving any invitations like the others. If it wasn’t Baekhyun, then I wouldn’t know you wanted me to be here too – I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo quickly turned to Jongin with a sad look on her face. “About that – uhm. What you heard is a pure misunderstanding. All the time we’re together is precious but I couldn’t bring myself to call you my friend because you said it yourself – you don’t treat everyone as your friend. We aren’t really talking even before so I really don’t know. I don’t really want to assume – especially from someone that I really like –“ Kyungsoo stops as she eyed Jongin cautiously. The tan boy was smiling at her.

“So you like me, then?”

She nods and she can hear Jongin satisfied. “I like you, Jongin. I really do. I really don’t want to associate myself with you because I’m afraid of you. I’m afraid that being happy with you pays a big price. I’m just weak when this unknown fear hits me when I’m too happy. I was so afraid that after your special exam – you wont talk to me. So I tried not to be attached with you. And the invitation.” Kyungsoo took a deep breath before continuing. “I wanted to give it to you personally so that maybe you can give me your time? And maybe ask you if you see me as a friend? But you suddenly told cut ties with me”

“that’s why.” Jongin chuckled a laugh as he laid down on the grass. “Sorry. I’m stupid.”

“Sorry. I’m just bad and not good enough for everyone. You probably hate me now.”

Jongin pulled her down in his arms and Kyungsoo almost felt home – Jongin’s warm and he’s caressing her hair lovingly. “Kyungsoo. I have a confession to make.” Kyungsoo felt Jongin pulling her close and all she did was to cling on to his shirt. She closed her eyes and tear immediately fel the moment Jongin spoke again. “I don’t want to be your friend.”

_He must be done. He must be saying his goodbye. Maybe he cant be a friend to someone like her._

“It’s so hard to be a friend to someone you really like – don’t you think?” Jongin mumbles as reached for Kyungsoo’s chin, slowly making her look at him. He wipes the tears on her cheek and smiled. “It’s actually my plan to be teamed with you. The “help” in studying was my scheme to spend time with you because Jongdae and Joonmyeon always gets your attention and I cant make a move on you when we’re in the group –“

“Hey, is the special exam fake, too? Did you failed in on purpose?”

Jongin widened his eyes. “No! I really suck at English.”

Kyungsoo smiled at him and curled even more closer to him. “Okay. I believe you.” She mumbles as she hugged him tightly. It just feels so right.”

“Can we not be just friends, Kyungsoo?”

“It depends. You have to ask permission from my dad.”

Jongin smiled widely as he fishes his phone inside his pockets and showed his screen to Kyungsoo.

“Jongin! Why do you have a picture with my Dad!”

“Well, I asked him earlier about dating you. And he said it’s okay. As long as you like me.” Jongin linked their noses and he cant be any happier. “And as long as I am willing to put up with every issues you have with yourself.. So can we start over as something more?”

Kyungsoo who have been so overwhelmed started tearing up again. “You’re willing to be with someone like me?”

“Why cant I? . All you need is a little push.”

“But I may be a headache to you –“

Jongin scrunched his nose and decided to give Kyungsoo a quick peck on the lips. “I don’t mind it.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

“Hundred percent sure?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know – I cant help but to love you. Loving someone doesn’t need reasons.”

“I still cant believe it –“

“Can you just please say yes to me and let me kiss you again? Let me help you overcome your fear. I know I don’t know that much but I’m willing to learn the things about you. So let me - ” Jongin whined childishly and Kyungsoo cant just say no. Not when Jongin’s acting like a kid infront of her. She held him in the face and draw herself closer until the lips met again in a slow manner.

Being in his arms. Being kissed by him. Being with Jongin makes her feel loved. A love that only Jongin can give her. The way Jongin looks at her is just overwhelming – like he’s praising her with all sincerity. He makes her trust herself even more. Kyungsoo smiled as they parted once more and nodded.

_Jongin thinks it’s a fresh new start for them and he hopes, after that night, things would get better for them. He leans again and attempted to kiss kyungsoo again but the doe eyes girl was quick to cover his mouth with her hand._

_“What are you doing?”_

_“I want to kiss you again.”_

_Kyungsoo smiled. “I don’t want to –“ she looked up to the skies and smiled._

_“Soo –“_

_“Yes?”_

_“I really love you – just in case you need to hear it from me.”_

_And with that, Jongin had a kiss again from his first ever official girlfriend._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
